Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for SHTF
 

Only 3 people on the forum know my true identity - no biggie. With that said here goes.

This is the Reader Digest version:

Wife of 16 years with one child age 9 wants no part of living more than 10 min out of town. We already live in a semi rural area and her complaint is we live too far out. Frankly we don't. It's just a little way out.

Wife does not do well with any crisis. 36 hour power outage a few years ago resulted in near meltdown on her part. This has been a major concern of mine for many years. I frankly dread having to put up with her more than I fear the chaos in society ... food shortages, war events, nuclear fallout you name it. There are other events and mini crisis scenarios....I'll spare you. :puke:

She doesn't believe in the need for much if any preparation. Magically it will be ok...nothing has happened yet...nothing ever will.

Even when my child was just a toddler I felt the need to somehow separate and cut a homestead out of the wilderness - make a nest then invite her back in.

I have 2 businesses and she has expressly told me last week the reason she really isn't interested in helping me with business #2 [which only grossed $16,000 last year] it is in fact she resents living here [She wants to live next door to her sister] near the coast. The current area we live in I believe to be one of the better areas to be in than most areas WTSHTF. Business #2 can easily gross $35k+ with the much needed help. Did I mention she has been on unemployment for over a year?

So lets just say the papa bear has been pushed and is seriously considering divorce for the sake of the families base survival and frankly my own selfish pursuits to not loose money with biz #2. Sure I could continue to be the marriage martyr but living like this is hardly a shot in the arm :10_1_19: and is frankly detrimental and destructive in many ways. Some have said be the man and tell her how it's going to be. Easy to say - tough to do. I guess if you don't need to make a living and can afford to go into full battle mode for weeks on end 9 year old :bawling: then great. It's like falling into a yellow jackets nest. Nothing else gets done. This is the same woman that argued toe to toe with her dad and all the sisters would get in trouble because of her. Trust me her family knows her to be very difficult to deal with.

If it was not for my child I would of left her long ago.

We got into major fights over Y2K preps years ago. :bear_cry: She is one tough nut to crack.

Any feedback from married prepers?

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

I don't know which is harder on kids - fighting, unhappy parents or divorced ones. Her being unemployed might give you a boost on keeping your son if you made the move now.

My wife is very hard to convince of things too, and why we are not rural, though in every other part of preps she is onboard and too hard a worker (IMO).

She does not hold grudges though or have waspish bruhahas, just sticks to her guns about a few things. She had a really long commute before we married and is now ok with rural upon retirement (if we have that long).

I do think this town has a good chance of staying more of a community than most.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

What she does well is keep a clean house and make sure my son gets his homework done for private school.

There really isn't much fighting except over issues on how to run business #2.

I could not run these two businesses and keep up with my son's homework load. I work odd hours and it would be major strain - I'd have to hire a nanny.

Tough call but I think I need to look at my options as to where I would stand in a divorce.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

I've got a somewhat similar situation with my wife and I had to do a lot of stockpiling in spite of her. She still thinks I'm a whacko but has seen some of the benefits of having most things we might need on hand and we've gotten along better as time goes on. I still do the stockpiling behind her back but I think she'd understand a little better now.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Work on a "vacation home" while stockpiling it.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

You keep mentioning the business. That seems to be the catalyst.

No business is worth the dissolution of a marriage. You need to figure out why you married this woman. You loved her long before the business.

Good Luck....life is difficult sometimes. Don't let its problems consume you.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

When it comes down to business #2 it is source of major irk for her basically because we can't move from here because I'm growing a local regional business. She wants to live 2 doors down from her sisters place 300+ miles away so she can have tea with her sister and drive my brother in law insane who has a tough time putting up with her. Before we married - it was lets move. Boy friend B4 me lets move - he said get lost. Year 1.5 into marriage lets move - then I told her fine you move I stay here have a nice life. That squelched it for a few years. She could be 90 with a walker and would say lets move. This will never change.

Growing the base of business #2 which is very seasonal is based on actual residential clients. Business #1 can be done anywhere in the world via the internet. She has a time clock mentality - she is in no way geared towards being an entrepreneur of any kind. Several people in the family on both sides hers and mine have been predicting marital disaster for years... I think they are right.

Frankly we got married quickly for the wrong reasons...avoidance of sin....since we both have a classical Christian view. Frankly a long term engagement would of helped. Our premarital counseling was major red flags. Associate pastor said break off the engagement - we didn't listen - who does. Major conflict in personality types Taylor Johnson test.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Frankly I don't know how I can feather a homestead nest with her under my roof under any circumstances. 3 year ago we looked at some rural property - just to look - caused a major fight. Very juvenile looking back I still shake my head over that one. Her way or the highway.

I'm entering my busy season here in about 4 weeks - everything else needs to stop battle wise so I can grow my client base. Everybody benefits if I attain my goals with business #2. Regardless of what happens.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

I feel for ya, brother.

Only question is: Did you two originally live out there [300mi. away, near family] and then move where you are now?

I ask because that was the camel back breaking straw with us :smile:

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

:23_28_100s:

Exactly what I'm trying to do now.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

By the way she was kind of right about preps for Y2K.

Need to know is the key with a female like this!! imho

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

What a bummer

Im not sure what to say...But I wanna say something..

:ok:

Kids do better when They live with both parents. Do some research on that

I hope you can work it out

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

No.... we've been here the whole time. Her parents are just 40 min away - we hardly see them. Major irk factor with her one half sister who can't understand her lack of empathy towards her parents.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Oh, well then. Make biz #2 flourish & use it as your private preps fund. :clap2:

I "stole" my woman and "dragged" her across the country years ago.
Now I live in a region I don't enjoy, on some rural property that I love.
She's happy & near family. I get all the junk I want.

Keeping family together = good.

I say Best for the kid, best for you, best to keep the gov't out of it.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Ummm, stocking up on things that you will use anyway is a way to cut the costs dramatically if you buy the same stuff you'd buy anyway, except buy it on sale, not wait till you are out and pay double. Just rotate stock and don't buy more than you will use before its too old to use...

Being 10 mi out isn't bad compared to being in the city. Be willing to compromise. Maybe improve what you have so it can survive a week without power...

I dunno the rest there. We have major probs too, mostly rooted in lackanookie round here in my view. You don't mention that end of it, but if you can't enjoy each other, its more like punishment, IMO. I have that prob a lot.

Not saying I have any answers, but I've had the same battles over hoarding. I think she's just hoping it will all go bad, just to prove it was dumb, lol. I try to explain to my kids that if I was to spend $5000 total and be able to eat for 2 or 3 years of a currency collapse while the shelves are empty, its not a lot of money compared to what we have. The shelves in DC went empty in one day this week. That should be a clue as to what happens if we get into a collapse where things can't easily be delivered. Obviously, things like that are relative to your financial depth, but the same argument is much more valid for $1250 spent to be able to feed the family for a 6 month lean spell.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Read this:
.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

I've been through a divorce, and I can tell you in NO uncertain terms that my life is 1,000% better now than it was before I made that decision. Life is just WAY too short to be living with someone you don't see eye-to-eye with. If she's not your friend, companion, and helpmate in your businesses, and actively seeks to keep you from achieving your (very sensible) goals, then say goodbye and don't look back. Many people will chime in and say that your child should be the deciding factor, and that you should stay together for him/her, but I was brought up from the time I was 7 until I left home with divorced parents, and I turned out OK and never hated my parents for splitting up.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

I agree....both parents are best with young kids in the house. I could do this till the day I die as long as we live in another 60 years of peace and prosperity. What really worries me is when TSHTF with her and all the sand bagging history.

Very true - I tried getting a regular job as a full time paid Firefighter with a start pay of $48,000+ year to start with a ton of off days per month. She gave me lots of grief over being a volunteer FF "why does it always have to be about you" she interfered with my work out schedule wanted more family time. Getting hired as firefighter is extremely competitive. I finally gave up got too old and frustrated.

I worked 2 regular time clock punching job many years ago worked 7 days a week. Wife got tired of that and demanded that I tell job #2 [armored car service] that I will no longer work on Sundays. I was dumb enough to listen to her...told them I don't want to work on Sundays anymore. I was fired the following Tuesday from job #2. That job was hard to get lots of screening and hoops to jump through. I liked that job ...kinda of a fun rush always looking out for bad guys who will hold you up. I've told that story a few times in marriage counseling - they just shrug.

Yes there are 2 sides to every story but everybody in the family knows her side my side...

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Marriage, under current socialist rules, is akin to chattel slavery, and only gets worse when divorce occurs.

Marriage, under the common law, is entirely different.

FWIW - marriage is not for love (why would two people "in love" need a lifelong contract?). Marriage is a contract to merge two families' property rights for the benefit of progeny. (See: Curtesy, dower, and coverture.)

Under the old common law rules, the sole grounds for divorce were adultery - as in adulterating the blood line of inheritance by the wife having a baby sired by non-spouse. In that case, the adulterous spouse was cut loose, without the children or marriage property (which go to the legitimate children), and she was free to marry the father of the illegitimate child and endow the child legally with the father's property rights.

As you can readily see, divorce was a rarity in pre-Socialist America.

Today?

*(Shudder)

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

I'm product of divorce myself. My parents split when I was 14. Mom hated my dad - wanted to dance on his grave. Truly ugly situation as a kid looking back. I'd have to say even if I had to support her with alimony I would be better off if she didn't fight me over having an open door policy with my son. I don't think she would. If biz #2 doesn't flourish we all suffer - all our real estate money is tied up in it.

She often comments about some job she thinks she will land. I always respond that's peanuts - just help me market with biz #2 and we will bank. Never works...blank irked look most every time.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Funny on the right and wrong issue. Told my wife we need to go on one of those shows on TV. Marriage referee. She said NO! :bear_happy:

I have regard for my wife could even be friends with her post facto if it goes that way. Love her? I had to chose to not get angry so many times.

Back when we where first married we went to a young married classes at church. It was said that when there is a deep disdain for the other person it's really hard to come back. I've crossed that line many times over a span of many years.

I have classical Christian world view. I worked for Christian ministry years ago. My wife did as well. Many of you would recognize the places if I named them.

Thanks for the support and helpful comments and in hearing my sob story GIM'ers - I've shared this subject with just a few friends. Nothing will happened quickly or in rash manner.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

As a self proclaimed male chauvinist pig i can tell that most women want to live in la-la land.

She will probably complain when shft because you didn't take control over the situation earlier.

Bottom line is that females need to be told by a man what to do and that you should do what is right even if she feels that you are wrong.

After all, you are the man in the house aren't you?

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

I don't know if the divorce route will work in your favor. It depends on how spiteful she is. She might use your prepping and survivalist tendencies against you in court. Make you out to be some wacko. Be careful. Look what happened to this poor fellow. It was the wife that turned him in.

http://goldismoney.info/forums/showthread.php?t=447181

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Don't hide it. She has to respect you for who you are, and for standing up for what you believe. If she has a problem with prepping, simply point out that the stuff will get used up regardless, so it's costing nothing and giving you peace of mind.

If I've learned one thing about marriage, it's that there's no future in lies. Be open and up front, and let the pieces land where they may. She, and your kids, will respect you more for it, and you'll be empowered by it. If she can accept you and your needs, you will be making progress towards a stronger relationship. If she can't, you'll reach your eventual outcome without deception... and it will be the right thing for everyone involved.

I wish you the best in this. May happiness be yours and your wife's, whether you stay together or not.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

I mostly agree, but this can be a tricky situation. If she has been getting her way most of the time it is going to be very hard to regain control. She can always pull the divorce card where she has the upper hand 95% of the time.

It sounds like she is spoiled and taking advantage of the current situation, she doesn't want to help with business #2 but doesn't seem serious about getting another job either. Not that a wife should always work, but if she isn't going to and only has one kid there is no reason she can't be supportive and help with HiHoSilver's second business.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

9 years in a happy relationship here, after many miserable ones... so
here�s my two cents.

Find the best in her and ask yourself is it enough to stay.... and if you were dying in shtf dugout or in normal times hospital, would you want to look into her eyes as you were dying?

Not healthy for a child to be the reason the parents stay together...
especially bad since children learn by example and the best thing to give a child is an example of a happy marriage, or happy single parent.

Sounds to me like she has old family of origin issues and is taking it out on you. I think If I was in your place I would demand her to work her old issues out with a counselor or leave.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

If she disagrees, let's you, and just thinks you're nuts that's one thing. If she disagrees and denies you the right to do what you want, that's another....and the not willing to help the business out part, and being on unemployment at the same time?

Sorry man, don't listen to me, I wouldn't handle that scenario well at all.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Let her go to her sister's, as a trial run, but leave the kid home with you.. she'll miss you more then ever and will seriously re-think things over. And you will miss her too. You kind of get use to the nagging.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

You don't mention any active attempt to thwart your goals, it only appears that she doesn't approve. It sounds like she is going to disapprove no matter what happens. If that is the case then you may as well keep her around just because a divorce would be such a nuisance. Even a mild divorce is quite a nuisance.

As for the kid, it's her kid. It's only yours as long as she says it's yours and if you ever forget that you'll get reminded.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Brother, I can't imagine a lot of what you're going through but I'll be praying for you. On the issue of marriage and divorce, I'll just point you to Matthew 19. And 1 Thessalonians 5:17.

The realization hit my fiancee several months ago that the reason I've been buying large quantities of food, seeds, tools and other such items for a while isn't because I'm preparing for TEOTWAWKI, but because if TEOTWAWKI hits, I'll have plenty of resources to draw from to take care of her and me and our eventual family. It sounds like your wife has had, for lack of a better term, a Pollyanna perspective for some time and that she doesn't want to do the hard work necessary to get from point A to point B. Maybe it'd be a useless exercise to tell her that you're dropping every insurance policy you have--life, health, property, business--because hey, nothing has happened to you yet, and it never will, so why waste the money? Of course, if something happens to you or your business or your house, well, you'll really be up a creek, but nothing bad will ever happen so you'll just take your chances. Given the high anxiety level it sounds like she lives with, maybe letting her marinate for a while in the thought of having no safety nets will really get her to realizing the consequences if something happens and you lose everything because you were foolish enough not to keep insurance. Then once she gets the point...hopefully she will, but I sense your skepticism...you can show her that you'd be an idiot NOT to protect yourself, your family and your business, so here's why you're doing these things.

But then again, even if you hold her feet over the fire, which I'm guessing you may have already done in one way or another to get her to realize what will happen if you DON'T prepare for your family's and business's long-term welfare and sustainability, and if she still doesn't budge...but you mention that she's been on unemployment for more than a year, so I'm going to go out on a limb and assume she's not the most motivated person in the world. And I'm guessing from what you're saying that the logic of what could be compared to the way things are right now really isn't motivating her either.

Just curious, before your wife started drawing unemployment, how many hours was she working versus the number of hours she'd be working if she was helping you with business #2 full-time? Not that it would matter, I guess, if she's been sitting around for a year already.

By the way, how old are you and your wife?




I've got more I could probably type, but I'll go ahead and post this and suggest the following links to start with. PM me if I can offer any advice. I'll be praying for you and your family.


http://www.survivalblog.com/cgi-bin/...p&IncludeBlogs
http://realcent.forumco.com/topic~TOPIC_ID~11963.asp
http://realcent.forumco.com/topic~TOPIC_ID~8940.asp

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Time to prioritize. What, in order of importance, are the three most important things in your life? Raising your child well? Your businesses? A clean, comfortable, ordered home? Preparedness? The support of your wife for your business ventures? How well are you meeting those? Would ending your marriage help or hurt your ability to satisfy the priorities on the list?

I do have to ask: Has she ever been behind business #2? Did you have her support when you started it? If not, I can understand her resenting the demands of it. Who wouldn't? It sounds like her lack of support for the business is the big issue to you. Despite her desire to live near her sister, she's still with you in the location of your choosing, so it doesn't sound like that problem is a deal-breaker. If she'd like to live elsewhere, it makes sense for her to share that, especially if you're taking actions that would further tie you all to a location she's not crazy about. She doesn't appear to be insisting upon moving, though. Are you fair in expecting her to help with the business she doesn't care for if you unilaterally made the decision to start it (if, in fact, you did do that)? And I know you said she's on unemployment, but didn't you also say that she's homeschooling your child and keeps the home clean? That's quite a job.

Preparedness is clearly a bone of contention with you two, but let's face it: Preparedness is a crap shoot anyway. We don't know if, when, or how the S will HTF. I've been into preparedness for over 30 years, and the S hasn't HTF yet, and if it does, we don't know if it will be the sort of disaster that will require all that FD food, a rural lifestyle, and cases of ammo. (Remember the guy from Agentina who writes about survival in his country during its SHTF crisis? He said rural areas were the last place you wanted to be!) Is it worth breaking up a marriage and losing your child part-time over something that may never happen? Your child could be 20 or even 40 before the SHTF. And while there are indications that your wife won't handle a SHTF situation well, you can't really judge it by an annoying 36-hour power outage. People may well behave differently if they know it's a "for-real" catastrophe and that the power isn't going to come back on, especially people with a child to protect. I've been on camping trips with people who whined about the inconveniences of camping overnight in cold, rainy weather (in fact, bailed out and went to a motel). I've been on month-long expeditions in rural Mexico in which we camped for days on end in cold, rainy weather and mud with those very same people, and they were fine and happy and functional.

I can sympathize with you about her attitude on preparedness, though. My soon-to-be-ex- husband thinks it's idiotic and resented my dedication to it, even though I was rather private about it and didn't insist on his participation and didn't talk about it often. He knew I didn't like living in the city, but his job required it, and I loved him, so I made the choice to compromise. I've been into preparedness for 30-plus years, and frankly, the S hasn't HTF yet, and we don't know if it's ever going to hit the fan to the extent that we'll need all that FD food in the basement, etc. Living in the city has even been a blessing in some ways. (High gas prices and falling home prices didn't really affect us much.) Eventually, my preparedness was still too much for him, though, and it did finally play a role in the his bailing out of our 20-year marriage (specifically, my insistence on not moving to states with restrictive gun laws and the amount of ammo I have were factors that drove a huge wedge between us).

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

a kid will never forget their parents divorce, they will be damaged for the rest of their lives. but you and the x will be happy fighting over support and custody.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

What are her unfulfilled needs? You talked a lot about your perceived needs -- what are hers? Can you fulfill those needs for her while still accomplishing your preparedness goals?

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

From comments you've made and thanks that you've given and not given, it sounds like your mind is basically made up...

Once business #2 gets up and running and through this next bit of crisis period, then you'll divorce her...

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

one option is to keep prepping & let world events unfold.

in 6 months or 2 years she might be VERY grateful for your preps.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

I have a friend that got divorced. It cost him everything he had, and will live in poverty for the rest of his life, but he got the kids.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Tell her to get with the program or to hit the road. Its ridiculious to stay in a relationship where you are unhappy. The world is hard enough without having resistance at home.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

+1 You need to put yourself first in the relationship. Just my opinion but it was a secret I learned after my disastrous first marriage. There is a reason that if an aircraft depressurizes you put your own mask on first. You're no good to anyone if your incapacitated yourself. Crappy metaphor but still true.

A hard lesson to learn but the "person that cares the least has the most power" in a relationship. It's amazing how when a girl knows that you'll give her the boot at the drop of a hat how their attitude improves. Women can sense and crave a man that can not be manipulated. I played the nice guy shtick and got my assed kicked. Let "thank god and greyhound she's gone" be your rally cry.

Don't live a life of quiet desperation.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Are you happy??

My only marriage was late in my life and to (found out during)
a self centered woman that her only goal in life was to spend
every cent she and I earned, on herself and her kids (grown).

Sounds like you need to bite the bullet and move on..!
Take your losses and do your best for the child.

Follow what You believe is right for you and your future.
And with luck and doing your homework (wish I did in mine)
You will find a like minded lady that would be happy
to work with you.....!

Life is to dam short, it may not seem that way, but the older you
get, you will see that this is true....!

Move on and get on....


IMHO

Charles

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Adding my two cents...

Summarizing, it looks like your wife (unemployed) wants to be the decision maker. You are worried that she will push it to divorce.

------------------------

It sounds like you are prepping and paying the majority of bills. You could do a spreadsheet, but I don't think this is an argument coming from reason, so using reason will fail.

Play the Guilt card.

Are you paying most/all of the bills? That's what the head of the household is expected to do. If you don't get to be the decision maker, then you need to renegotiate, starting with the bills.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Women want life to be plain and easy with limited responsibility placed on them.
Sounds like you didn't find one of the exceptions to that rule.

Some of us get married then become unhappy when we realize it truly is like a ball and chain. You will continue to grow and mature but find that the girl does not and never will and you are taking care of an adult female kid for the rest of your life.

Maybe the marriage was a mistake, maybe not. Make a decision and make it once.

For what its worth, I wish my mom and step-dad had split. It would have been better for them and for me. Don't "stay together for the kids", that's a load of crap unless you both happen to be oscar winning actors. The kids will know and they won't be happy.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

My only advice would be to put your foot down about the issue. Tell her you will not ever be moving to the coast.

Then tell her that because you care about the family, you will be buying preps. She can help if she wants to, but if not, then just ignore it or rotate them for usual cooking ingredients.

It does sound like you want a divorce anyway. And if you're constantly battling with her around the kid, I would say do it. Try some marriage counseling first though, because you don't want her to take custody and move your kid 300mi away.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Maybe you could send her to her sister's for a month or so while you concentrate on business #2. That way she's happy with Sis, you can make some money, and she might actually find out that living near Sis and Bro-In-Law is no picnic.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

i dont know what to tell you . my wife was slow to understand what could happen if every thing that was happen came a part . but now when she at the store and she see stuff on sale she calls me to see if we need to add more to the food preps and she see ammo at walmart she calls and ask if we need more . we both work to have a better way of life . if i need help she is there and if she need help i am there . i would not trade her for the world . i dont know if i could live with someone that alway pulling away from me and not helping me .... we understand it take both of us ...................... going on 25 years strong

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Not attacking you, but what you learned was viewed with a "victim's" eyes. What you're claiming is that that's what you should have seen from the beginning, and that's just not so. Perhaps that might have made the marriage you just terminated better, but I doubt it. It definitely wouldn't have been a good foundation for any relationship I'd be a part of.

A solid marriage is a fusion, there is no one recipe for a good one. A matching of similar and dissimilar likes, wants, needs into a balanced mix. Love, tempered with respect. The willingness to give, to share has to be there on both sides. The missus and I have as many differences as we have things in common. I've disappeared for a week to see a hotrod show that didn't interest her in the slightest. No jealousy from her. She's taking off for a weekend next month while I keep the kids. This summer, we'll both decide on what we want to do for vacation. We'll probably both share the decision on where we finally go, but we'll both have equal say in the route to get there and back. So will the kids for that matter. We might deviate from the shortest route by 100 miles because one of the kids wants to see the world's biggest ball of dung. Double back 2 states because we just learned from someone at a truckstop about a dinosaur exhibit. If one of us was to say no outright, we wouldn't do it, but that very seldom happens because we respect each other. And that very respect is why if one says No, the other doesn't harp and moan about missing out.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

I just don't get it....

http://www.enjoyfrance.com/images/st...y-Osbourne.jpg

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Maybe instead of TEOTWAWKI, you/she could look at what other natural/economic disasters/inconveniences your area is/has actually been subjected to in the past (Honey, do you remember when _____?"), and direct "a little emergency readiness" toward that end ("And remember the (fun and special moments description here) we had when _______?").

R.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

I'm sorry , sounds like you are heading for divorce... I don't think anything you do will make her happy. (Unless everything it is her way.)

I wish I had some great words of advice, I think you already know what you are going to do, it's just a matter of doing it.

You could try post # 45 though?

Good luck to you.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

If she goes, who helps the 9 yr old with homework, etc? Single parenting with 1 job is possible, but with trying to run two businesses, its stretching it.

Can you hang on as is and maybe try the counseling and attempt compromise for a few months till either things work themselves out or your busy season ends and school is out for the summer?

Just thinking aloud....

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

This is the move I would make. A basic compromise. Maybe you can't homestead, but you can put aside preps quietly in a corner of the garage, where she usually doesn't frequent, etc. Out of sight, out of mind.

Better than nothing or a divorce, assuming you're not to that point yet.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Bummer situation. My brother is going through a divorce right now and his soon to be ex is a crazy b!tch that is making his life miserable.

Here's my $0.02 FWIW:

Let me first begin by saying that I am all for trying to work it out. It is going to take some compromise, but maybe you could do it. Justify your preps by explaining that you are trying to make sure that she doesn't go crazy for the next power outtage or other event.

If she isn't working and is only making a contribution by helping out around the house, I would tell her ass to get started building up business # 2. She needs to contribute to the income situation in addition to the rest of the household duties - even if it is only part time. (You could tell her that the extra money would help pay for a vacation place on the coast near her sister at some point in the future...) If she isn't working, it would be hard to justify the cost of a move, not to mention the housing market is still in the can in most places.

If her heart is really set on being 300 miles away, it will be hard to stop her from wanting that and she may end up resenting you for not allowing her to do that. If she does resent you for the living status, then that won't make for a good marital situation.

If you really don't think that it is going to work out, don't delay the inevitable. THe situation will only get worse and you don't want your kid to see the results. If she is currently unemployed, you'll end up paying a fair amount of alimony.

Her being unemployed may or may not be in your favor as to custody. After all, she can spend all day with your child while you are out busting your hump, and then she will claim that you are working too much to be a good father. Also - what's to stop her from getting custody and moving 300 miles away?

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Having pondered your situation, I think an I love you might be overdue. Have you considered spending a little time bonding, followed by some conversation on why you feel it's important to protect yourself, her, and your child? The more I consider the content of your post, the more I realize you have a communication breakdown.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Right -

I'm not going to offer anything about which way your heart/decision process should go.

However, if you are thinking divorce,

Lawyer up, at least on an advisory basis, the sooner the better.

Stuff like this can go ballistic in a skinny minute,

With major adverse results to all.

One other piece of advice: get yourself a female lawyer.

Their are deadlier than the males in this arena.

From experience...........

And happily remarried for the last 10 years.

scyth

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Are we going to start a "bitter ex-husband that has been taken to the cleaners thread"?
I hope not. :no_ma:

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

HihoSilver,

My sympathy. My wife and me have gone through some pretty rough patches..... fortunately both of us are too damn stubborn to give up and managed to get through it without splitting.

I gotta go with Ragnarok here. That sounds like the way to go, if it's not too late.

What're you talking about? Turned out Ok? You're a GIMer for cryin out loud! An insane canned food hoarding obssessive compulsive silver dime buying government distrusting paranoid gun toting barbarous relic praising GIMer....... You're freakin nuts!

Everyone, please..... for the sake of your kids, stay together........ You don't want em to end up a GIMer like Gaillo, do ya?

:signs14: Sorry Gaillo, but you know it's true.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

You're ahead of most married men in this department. You've gotta take the good with the bad. Remember that compromise is an important part of marriage.


On the preps - My wife thought I was nuts until we had hurricane Ike here in Houston. The power was out for many people well over two weeks, 12 days for me. Nearly every store was closed, those that were open were running on generators and were cash only. We drove 30 miles to get a tank of gas, once we arrived we waited for an hour in line.

Luckily, we already had most of what we needed. Food, water, shelter, cash, no electricity but plenty of candles and a coleman lantern.

It definitely changed her view of our preps.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Need to put your foot down like this guy did:

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Perfect! :ok:

When we were building our house in the hills I used to sing that song!...lol

Love it! :biggrin:

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

My wife usually goes along with whatever idea i have, BECAUSE, she knows that i will do nothing about it.:504:

I also have noticed that it is the verbiage used to convey ones ideas that can make or break your will on others (IE. Your wife).

For example.....Instead of using the word homestead (sounds Amish) i would rephrase this by calling it a home with acreage. A lot of the ideas and words used in the prep and self sufficiency arena are a through back to a description of " the little house on the prairie". This situation may be the ultimate goal but a lot has changed since then, like electricity! :biggrin: Also, if she is not a "dreamer" then she might have a hard time imagining the "dream", take her to some open houses, might help her see and understand what it would really be like. It sounds like you already did this and she just wants to be by her sister because in her eyes her sister is living the "perfect life". :thumpdown

P.S. I have noticed a influx of property lately. If you get the itch and want to look at property, PM me.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

I've read this entire thread. There are many good answers here, so I don't plan to repeat them. But you talk a lot about business #2 and her unwillingness to help you with it. Maybe she doesn't want to work for you. You would be her "boss" there too. Maybe that is too controlling for her. She needs to get a job of her own, with another person as the boss. I know you said she doesn't look very hard for unemployment. But the woman has too much time on her hands, she needs a job/volunteer activity to lessen her idle time. She may fight less if she'd a bit more tired. Keep encouraging her to find something/anything.

(prepares for bashing from female members)

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Most partners respond with a blank irked look or a punch in the face when they are talked AT.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Yah,

they thought I was nuts in Houston until I rolled in post IKE and provided FOOD, ELECTRICITY, FUEL, and AMMO.

You should have seen the old mans eyes when I pulled in the driveway....

:23_28_100s:

It in your hands. All of it. Just do and never look back.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

What's your wife's situation? Getting another job might help her tremendously.

But it's hard to give honest helpful input without knowing your wife's POV.

I've have a friend whose spouse was constantly wanting change in her life, new house, move here, move there, new car, new job, etc. She thought some change would make everything all better. I think she was trying to fulfill some emptiness inside. She finally figured out a divorce was what she wanted and got one. She's still not happy, but at least his life is much more drama-free

As far as preps, make it your hobby. I assume you each are allowed to blow a small amount every month, whether it be shoes, toys, etc. Preps could be your "thing". Mife wife didn't initally care for it, but has grown accustomed to it. I just tell her my preps are cheaper than a girlfriend, and she agrees it's a lot less hassle :)

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

You need to decide what your bottom line is. Is it salvaging the marriage at any cost for the sake of the child? Or is it keeping the finances and preps alive, marriage be damned? Whether it would be worth living in hell for nine more years for the child is your call. The fact that she has little contact with her nearby parents says a lot. Now that things have gotten this far, perhaps an in-depth phone call to the sister would be worthwhile. If the sister knows that the two of you just might divorce just so your wife could be near her, it might influence her to try and talk some sense into your wife.

My brother early in his marriage was told by his wife that she was considering aborting her first pregnancy and moving back with her mother. He told her mother about it and said that if she did he'd divorce her. The mother called her and told her that if she aborted the child, she would forever be unwelcome back home. That she needed to grow up and stop thinking only of herself. That made a difference. I wouldn't describe their marriage as happy, but they are still together.

Your best hope of saving your marriage is to go to a councilor (minister?) that your wife respects for advice. If she simply won't go to counciling then in the long run your marriage is doomed, because it would mean that in her heart-of-hearts, she really doesn't love you. And if you do have to divorce, it is better to do it before you grow the business for alimony reasons.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Thanks for all the support GIM'ers. I do appreciate the input, concerns and regards.

Today is my long busy 12+ hour day with Biz #1 and I will be away from the PC's much of the next 3 days... will be tied up with family events etc.

I will post a follow up and define "reader digest style" my vision for a homestead. It won't sound too Amish...I think even Even Eva Gabor would appreciate it maybe even really like it.

Short term marital conflict resolution plan includes band aids and some temp patch work until the critical marketing period subsides for biz #2 then I can put this back on the front burner and invest in counseling, energy etc. I really think some sort of unbiased outside referee factor is needed to make much progress.

My own personal fulfillment martial goals which may never happen in this lifetime or in any marriage...and how this is conflicts with my very old school views on divorce and remarriage that I'm struggling with now?

More clarity on why I believe my wife is irked with the biz #2. This involves a bit of history with one of her past employers.

I have some plans on hiring out help for marketing in the next month....this really is not making my wife happy [see post #11] ...but I'm very confident it will work to the point I will need to turn away work - even though the economy is tighter.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

HHS, lawyer up now and still prepare to take it in the pooper. It sounds like she's made up her mind and any marriage counseling will just postpone the inevitable. Try to gain as much legal and financial advantage as you can, now. You will need it.

My $0.02

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

I wish I could offer advice but I'm going through a similar situation. She moved back to her parents and our four year old gets bounced back and forth. Thanks for posting this thread, the comments hit home for me.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

I agree with markt: what's your real goal here?

What is the most important thing in your life: Your sons happiness? raising your son on a day to day basis? your happiness? your preps? getting your wife's approval about your prepping activities? convincing your wife you're right about preps? mending your marraige?

Each of these relationships or activities may be important parts of your life but if you choose the most important and direct your energy towards that, then you have a better chance of getting one goal accomplished in life. I know that may sound pessimistic but life is hard. To elaborate:

1. If maintaining a day to day relationship with your son is the most important thing in your life, then make sure you do what you need to maintain that goal. You know you have at best a 50/50 chance of winning custody, at best, and probobly not that good from your description of your work schedule and her status as a full time homemaker. At this point, you can figure out how much longer you have to put up with your wife till your son is at an age when you will get custody of him as a result of your son being a teenager that your wife won't want to deal with on a day to day basis. Till then, just do what you need to so you can continue to live with your son so you can raise him (it sounds like she is sort of lazy & unrealistic, do you want him raised by someon like that while you visit him every other weekend?). If you have to shut your ears and eyes about your wife so you can maintain a cordial relationship to keep the daily peace, then do it for however long you need to to get your long term goal of raising your son.

2. If your happiness is the major goal, then divorce your wife & be happy with your new lifestyle.

3. Are your preps the most important thing? if so, why? why is this stuff (and it really is a lot of stuff, I know cuz I have a lot of preps but the bottom line: its stuff) more important than other stuff in your life? As a prepper, I know that a lot of this stuff will make life easier in an emergency (a sudden one or a "long SHTF" one) and is important BUT think of people who are so hng up on making money, collecting cars or fine art or hummels or pets or any other damn thing: when you sacrifice a very important relationship or basic duty (raising your son on a day to day basis) because you have to collect & maintain your preps (or your cars, fine art, hummels, pets or any other damn thing) then you've probobly got a bigger problem than being married to a selfish bully for a wife.

Look at it this way: the preps are supposed to help you reach your goals in life to keep your family safe (your son especially). Do you own these items & the skills neccesary to use them or do the items own you? are you fighting with your wife about stuff to the point that the stuff is becoming more important than your kid? I mean, your kid can't possibly be relaxed at home when you two are fighting about [fill in the blank here], think of how you want to get the hell away from a couple that is having an argument when you are stuck behind them in line in the store. Think of how much your son must want to get some distance between himself and his parents when you 2 fight.

Ah, you say, it's not me, its the wife who picks fights with me about my preps. Guess what: it takes 2 to fight. If you shut it down emotionally about your wife, then you won't fight. The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. Train yourself to be indifferent towards this woman and you are half way to inner peace cuz who in their right mind is going to put energy into fighting with a person they are indifferent about?

Why does your prepping at this point have to consist of stuff? why not hone your skills, like fire starting, hunting, fishing, camping, making homemade camping equipment (things like "buddy burners" are so much fun to make & use for kids) gardening, tracking, off trail navigation, etc etc instead of emphasizing the stuff at this point. As an added bonus, all of these activities are the kind of thing most kids like to do with Dad (rather than with Mom) which will hone your skills while teaching prep/survival skills to your son and you guys can bond. Which will make it easier when you are parenting him alone when he is a teenager.

4. If convincing your wife that you're right about the preps is most important thing in your life, then good luck winning the years of fights you are in for.

5. ditto about getting her approval

6. if mending your marraige is important, then get into counseling on an individual basis cuz it sounds like you both have a few issues to work out before you're ready to do the work of couples counseling. In other words, you didn't learn to run before you could walk and you had to crawl before you could walk. Success in counseling is also sequential, you have to resolve your own issues before you can resolve your issues as a couple.

Bottom line: you're not going to get to live a happy well prepped life with your wife in her present form (she sounds lazy but this makes her a lousy manipulator cuz she uses bullying / emotional blackmail to force people into giving in). You may be able to get thruogh the next 7 to 9 years (it sounds like a sentence cuz it is) raising your son, teaching him survival skills and bonding with him. You can lay the groundwork for a good relatiionship with your son that will last for the rest of your life but you can't have it all, no one can. Choose what's most important and do what you need to do to reach that goal, then later on in life you can pursue your other goals.

Im sorry if I don't sound warm and fuzzy, Im a realist. And you'll actually be amazed how fast the years will go by if you're busy working on solidly teaching skills to your son, building a lifetime relationship with him that will weather your inevitable divorce. (if you think the time went by fast between infancy and enrolling your son in school, it feels like only a season or 2 goes by between age 11 and 18, then they are gone!)

Good luck (I really mean it, I was once where you are), you're gonna need it cuz its gonna take a lot of persistance and fortitude to do what you need to do.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

You have received plenty of good advice here.

So all I can say is shoot her now before TSHTF.

Problem solved.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

HHS: Go back and re-read all your posts. I think you've answered your own questions several times. Don't let religious beliefs and traditions get in the way of your happiness.

My brother was married 25 years with 3 children and he was the first EVER to divorce in our family. He is so happy today. He was miserable and had the same complaints you do but he's a completely different person now. Do you know why divorce is so expensive? Because it's worth it.

Marriage is between 2 people and noone else. Do what makes you happy. Since you asked, it sounds to me like you've given all your power and spirit to her to control for quite awhile and now you suddenly want it back. Most women won't relinquish control once she has it. At some point in your marriage (or before) you allowed this behavior on her part and on yours and this is now a mother/child relationship.

My concern is that you are not setting a strong masculine example to your son and as a woman, mother and wife that would be my greatest concern. I prefer to see boys grow up firm in his confidence of being a strong man.

I truly wish you the best and please disregard all of our comments and do what you feel is best for you and your son in your own heart.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

HiHo......

I can tell you a long story about myself and my Ex and my kids(that i raised)

but it all boils down to this

She will not change unless she wants to change

so you will either have to .....live with it.....or live without it......or manipulate her into thinking she wants to change herself....

most guys have no chance of manipulating a woman (women are bred to be manipulators as a general rule)

so if you choose to live with it.....learn to like it because you will never have peace

if you choose to live without it(her) .....go see the most brutal lawyer you can buy and set up a time schedule on the QT prep for the divorce just like you would for SHTF......keep your mouth shut cause you can never win a verbal dual with a woman...If it were me i would try to get my sons custody.....then if she wanted to move she certainly could ....

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

If you earn the money, why does your wife dictate how it's spent after necessities are taken care of? You worked for it, spend it how you want.

btw, the most manipulative person I ever knew is my ex-husband, there's a special place in hell for people like him.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Agree with your hell statement....

Not gender related......Works for both sexes..

What would you do if your x moved in across the street
from you with the then boyfriend to be husband...

Lucky I'm not in prison on death row....(came close to acting)


They moved and that is another story of how in the end
they both got what they deserved and I can report
I had no hand in it what so ever...(They moved to another
state...)

Now that was a day to party!!!

Some marriages end well and then are those that will
drag you thru the deepest pits of hell..

But after when the dust settles, life can be good if not better.....


IMO + dos centavos

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Wow, is that what happened to you? Nasty, I can see how that would get out of hand.
But I'd run to my husband and he'd shut them down so fast and hard they'd never dare even look in my direction, he'd make them both cry like babies :haha: he's never shown me that side of him, but he can be mean. Really mean.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Yep did..

Sorry to say it did take a lot of time to finally get over
it.....
Did not do my homework before jumping into it, and
payed the price...The good thing was we had no kids
together, She had 3 of the most worthless adult kids
that breath air, I was expected to support when ever they got into
what ever trouble they were sure to get into....

Never again.



With out doing the homework of who she is and what
her core values are.....

Took years to get over it...!


And life is too dam short....!

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

On thinking about it, maybe a contrary piece of advice is to definitely NOT let the wife get involved in ANY of your business.

Some couples can work together, a lot however cannot.

I have seen it time and time again, the wife is just not in tune with how the business should be run.

So instead, I would recommend you encourage the wife to get a job that does not have anything to do with you... let her come home exhausted a time or two and then she will be a little more understanding and realistic about where money comes from...

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Wow I feel like I am one lucky guy, Gasilat I don't know what to tell you I am not married now but I will be next Sunday we are going to Vegas to get Married. She is a great Gal and is ready to move off the Grid with me.We have been looking for property for the last year and have been preparing for about 2 now. Your happiness and your child's well-being is what should be priority one in your life.

PS: We are registered at Apmex and BD if you are thinking about a wedding gift.:wavey::111:

You can always pop this in the CD player she might get the hint.

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Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Anyone see this story? All the more reason to prep...this could be any one of us if we don't prep:

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/htm...herhunger.html

By SARAH KARUSH
Associated Press Writer


TAKOMA PARK, Md. � As back-to-back snowstorms shuttered schools for the week across the mid-Atlantic states, parents fretted about lost learning time, administrators scheduled makeup days and teachers posted assignments online. But Marla Caplon worried about a more fundamental problem: How would students eat?

The two snowstorms that pummeled the region, leaving more than 3 feet of snow in some areas, deprived tens of thousands of children from Virginia to Pennsylvania of the free or reduced-price school lunch that may be their only nutritious meal of the day. The nonprofits that try to meet the need when school is not in session also closed their doors for much of the week, leaving many families looking at bare cupboards. And many parents working hourly jobs were unable to earn any money during the week, as the snow forced businesses to close.

Caplon is a food services supervisor for Montgomery County Public Schools, where about 43,000 children are eligible for free or reduced-price lunches. Some also get breakfast, dinner and bags of staple foods to take home for the weekend. The snow days meant children would get none of that until Tuesday, because schools are closed Monday for Presidents Day.

"We've been bothered by this all week," Caplon said.

So Caplon arranged for Manna Food Center, a local food bank whose board she chairs, to bring boxes of food Friday to two still-closed elementary schools. Officials used the school district's automated phone system to notify parents of the distribution.

At Rolling Terrace Elementary School, a stream of people walked up to a Manna truck in the school's bus bay Friday. They filled plastic shopping bags with cans of soup, vegetables and beans, ground beef and Rice Krispy Treats.

"Everybody's at home, and everybody's eating," said Jacquelyn Garcia, 39, who came to pick up food for her family of five. "I have nothing left in my house."

Manna's effort brought out smiles and expressions of gratitude. But the approximately 200 families who came to pick up provisions represent just a fraction of the need in Montgomery County, let alone the entire snow-battered region.

In Philadelphia, where public schools opened only one day this week, nearly 86,000 free lunches are served every day. In Baltimore, where schools were closed all week, a district spokeswoman estimated about 50,000 students take advantage of free and reduced-priced meals. The District of Columbia, which has had no school the entire week, has 32,000 public school students eligible for the program. Schools in Fairfax County, Va., which have about the same number of eligible students, have been closed since Feb. 5, when the first of the two storms rolled in.

Otto Tambito, a Fairfax County father of two, said his family burned through much of its savings during the week off from school and work. Tambito works as a window cleaner and an electrician, but was unable to travel to jobs. His wife, who cleans houses for a living, was in the same boat.

"We hope that thing melts down and we start again," he said.

Maritza Hernandez, a 32-year-old mother who came to pick up food Friday, said her usual baby-sitting income dried up during the snow days, and her husband had no work either. The couple and their 5-year-old son survived all week on beans, tortillas and the occasional egg, she said.

"We were sad that we didn't have enough to go shopping," she said.

Nationwide, about 19.4 million students received free or reduced-price lunches on a typical school day last year, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture.

Student hunger during breaks in the school year is not a new a concern. The Agriculture Department runs a summer food program to help fill the gap, though it doesn't reach everybody.

"The demand for emergency food for families with children in the summertime goes up," said Crystal FitzSimons, director of school programs at the Washington-based Food Research and Action Center, a nonprofit that fights hunger in the U.S. "Parents are more likely to skip meals, so their kids can eat."

The storm-related school closures were arguably more problematic because the emergency assistance typically provided by food pantries was also unavailable.

In Baltimore, the Bea Gaddy Family Centers opened Monday, but had to close Tuesday ahead of the second storm. The organization provides food, shelter and clothing to those in need.

"We tried to give out what we had to hold people over," said executive director Cynthia Brooks. "A lot of the people couldn't get up to the pantry because of the snow from the last storm."

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

I know someone who can take care of your wife for you. Will need 70/30 split on the life insurance payout

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Remember what happened to joe!


http://goldismoney.info/forums/showthread.php?t=304048

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Are you the deuce dude from Katrina? Just curious. That's totally fing cool if that turns out to be the case. I kinda figured that would be someone from here, but it could be almost anyone as well!

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

My wife thinks I'm out of my head. I'm not hard corps, but I'm prepping.

However, she doesn't give me too much crapola when I bring home the LDS canned food. She even likes the cracked wheat for breakfast.

She lets me do my thing...

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Maybe if you make your own preps instead of buying pre-packaged stuff, she might see things differently. You can involve her in the process and maybe she'll become more accepting of what you're doing. Emphasize that you're doing it for both of you--for your long-term survival and protection. People save money for retirement, so it just makes sense to stock up on food in the face of long-term economic uncertainty as well. Here are some links that may help. Take a look at my food-prep photos (with more coming soon) at the first link:

http://realcent.forumco.com/topic~TOPIC_ID~11965.asp

And don't forget what happened during and after Hurricane Katrina:
http://realcent.forumco.com/topic~TOPIC_ID~5964.asp
http://www.doomers.us/forum2/index.p...c,46497.0.html

And here's a quick-start guide for preparedness newbies:
http://realcent.forumco.com/topic~TOPIC_ID~8940.asp

Keep us posted.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

After I pointed out what was going on in Chile, she's much more open to prepping!

It's amazing what people will do when they're unprepared.

She's not 100% behind her nutty husband, but she's getting close!

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

I know what I would do in this situation, but I'm not sure if this will work for you...

I pay certain expenses for my wife. I pay her spending money. I pay her cel phone. She leases a car, and I make the payment. If she needs money for anything else (example- birthday present for friends kid, travel to see her brother who lives far away), she asks me for the money and if the request is reasonable, I'll pay for it. If I had a side business that she wouldn't help with, I would simply stop paying for any and all expenses that I give her money for, and also all expenses that she cares about that I don't care about, until she started earning her keep. And then I would do it.

People may laugh at this strategy, but I've successfully employed it several times in my marriage and it's always worked.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Hey HiHo, have you considered just handling all the prepping and leaving her out of it? How do you think she would do, in a real SHTF situation, where you had secretly prepped well? Do you think she'd be a basket case, or would warm up to the steps you had taken to secure a future for the both of you?

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Some more general thoughts:

A homestead is not really a prep. It would only matter if you happen to want to live on a homestead. If prepping is utmost in your mind, a good relationship with your wife is rather important and worth some effort to maintain. If you opt for the homestead, it sounds like you will have to do it without your wife. Consider carefully.

I read the bible once and the only requirement it places on a wife is to keep you from being alone. If she is also able to handle mundane matters of daily life then the bible says she is worth more than rubies. There are only two things in the bible worth more than rubies: wisdom, and a good wife. Owning a farm is important too, so important that a fellow who buys a farm is excused from the draft until his first harvest is in. But a farm is not worth more than rubies. A good wife is.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

***Update***

Been swamped busy marketing biz #2....took a weekend trip out of state over valentines weekend. Wife became chronically car sick/vertigo threw up in a gallon plastic bag the entire road trip over there. ER bill was in excess of $2k for just an IV and some meds and few hours....we don't have insurance. Had a decent trip despite this set back and all. FWIW she regresses to an 7 year old when trouble hits...like this and many other times. Trust me ...I know in a true SHTF scenario it will be 7 year old panic freak out time. I frankly care and am concerned for my wife's well being but I'm at a loss on how to fix this.

Just the other day I was dumb enough to leave a divorce info page open on a laptop browser used by everyone in the house.....prior to this she had been wanting to work on the relationship patch things up etc. She had realized that there was little hope and suddenly had a change of heart. Go figure...I had a hard time believing the change. Now I'm the bad guy because I was exploring the divorce issue.... Things are patched up again kinda... but I'm still the bad guy now.

We will most likely be going to marriage counseling but I frankly view this in the same light as spending $2500 to fix a Yugo car.

What little I have of PM's left will be likely sold to pay off some lingering 0% biz debt that just ballooned to 14% few days ago and to pay marketing people to help build the business once I'm not able to do this myself in the next few weeks and months. If done correctly I can bring in $1,000 to $1,400 gross in single weekend on this single niche service on top of regular cash flow during the week. I absolutely can not do this with out the extra help of sales and marketing people. Wife will not be involved in this at all. She's still on unemployment. She won't be getting any job as far as I can tell. Truly La la land mentality... But I can't let this distract me.

I will be selling my motorcycle to offset the thousands I've already spent on marketing and the money I haven't yet spent on this.

There is no survival prep money left...no real estate fund or money left. If I'm not able to get traction in biz #2 I will start to sell off my weapons stash this summer, however I'm very confident I can pull out of the cash flow dive and climb out and gain some much need altitude. Weapons stash is the next to the last reserve of capital.

I'm a realist by nature. It's a half a glass...not half full or half empty...just half a glass.

So it's not even an issue of preps or homestead now it's float or sink.

So anyhow still would like to explore options of divorce in my state and know what my options are. Best case....worst case scenario. Any recommendations?

Just go to lawyer and pay up and be done with it already for a consultation fee?

:Surrender:

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Not sure what advice to give you, brother, but I will definitely be praying for you. If you need a sounding board to bounce things off of, feel free to PM me.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

It's really tough to give you advice and I'm not sure I have any worth giving you to be honest. Your post has really made me think about what is important in a future mate.
If I were you, I would seriously consider a divorce. It sounds like your wife is mooching off of you and not contributing anything, and is just going to keep spending your money and riding your coattails until the economy gets so bad that you can't support her lifestyle... You might as well sever ties now.

I would expect to have 0 or negative net worth by the time you finalize a divorce, but your wife sounds like such a huge liability to me that it sounds like a good idea to go through with it.

I really HATE paying people money... did your wife really need to go the hospital and spend 2k? I have never known anyone who has experienced vertigo / vomiting so I'm not really sure what that is like. How many times has she been to the hospital for this in the past 5 years? Just bad luck/ bad timing? Is she on any other drugs? You need to strategize and keep your cards close. Your wife is likely planning for a divorce already and just trying to suck you dry for every penny she can get... don't get played. If you get a few lawyers involved... they will suck you dry for sure...

If you get a marriage counselor involved they will suck you dry, but much slower than the lawyers. Sit down with your wife, be honest, and just talk it out with her as best you can for as long as it takes. Try to explain your side of things as best you possibly can, and make sure to listen to her while she explains her side. WHY is your wife in lala land? Is she in denial about something? On prescription drugs? You need to work on changing your wife to be how you want her to be. This is very possible. Most women aren't very smart and simple psychology might go a long way.
Wait until a time when you both have nothing planned and can sit down and relax, just be completely honest...


I don't want my theoretical future wife to get a govt job ( any job where you pay taxes is a govt job ), but there are 100s of things I would like my wife to do that would produce great value for our family such as gardening, working anywhere off the books, chopping firewood, tending to the animals, raising kids, hell sorting copper pennies, sellin crap at flea markets, helping with a business... most women have absolutely no interest in doing this though. It's very important for them to be normal and fit in and pay 1/3 of their labor to the gov't. Simply don't give her any money. I would start hiding cash, even just $20-50 a week, tiny bits that will go unnoticed. IF you have anything left after the lawyers, you can bet your ass she is gonna take 60% of it if you're lucky.

I think a lot of marriages are simply not going to be able to stand up to the stresses of unemployment, inflation, etc... NWO desperately wants to disband as many families as possible... but that doesn't mean you should stay together just for the sake of doing so. It's tough to give advice because I truly have no idea what your situation is like ( even though I have read this entire thread ). I wouldn't count on your business doing particularly well in this economy, but then again maybe you have a business that thrives during depressions...

The only advice I will give you that is worth taking : DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SELL YOUR 3-4 FAVORITE GUNS, ESPECIALLY if they are unregistered and nobody knows you own them ( those are the only guns worth owning anyway ). I would rather go live in the forest and drop out of society than sell my guns off... I would rather sell off a kidney than my guns... they are like my children...

take everything I just said with a grain of salt, I am tipsy on some nice wine and dk wtf I am talking about. :10_1_19: :getdown: :23_31_2:

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

There is absolutely no way to talk this out without a 3rd party "referee" involved. The exact same speed bumps show up every time. Zero progress in fact it seems to make things worse. She has me painted as the "always about me"...."your selfish etc." Yes with a sole proprietor business it is kinda is about me. Her hopes and dreams supposedly don't matter to me [live next door to her sister] and she wants to live in town nothing bad will ever happen ... the TS will never HTF...stop living in fear..."Y2K never happened!"

Remember we have gotten in to major fights just looking at bare property just 20 miles from here. "I don't want to live here"...."too far to drive"...."what about what I want"....."too far from my son's school".... So guess what we have not looked except for maybe one time since that major blowout a few years back. We are now bare bone capital wise - ZERO funds for real-estate.

Not terribly worried about the economy factor with business #2. I'd very shocked if I was not able to gross more than double what I made last year. It is an above the radar business and I'm licensed and insured and I have the past experience to know what works and what doesn't. I have the business model pretty much down and have learned the hard way the last 3 years what doesn't work.

Burning through a huge pile of cash more than $15k+ just to finalize a divorce is pretty scary to me. Unless I did something stupid I don't see why shared custody could not be reached. I'm gravely concerned about having to support her...alimony and all. She has the ability and skills to work but is rather uppity in her demands with an employer about working hours. Again truly mind blowing considering the economy and all. The job she really wanted she dictated on the application no evenings or weekends. It was a big fat I told you so moment.

As for me ...job skills on the open market ...punching a time card....I'm trained as an aircraft mechanic with FAA license etc. Sorry folks.... been away too long from that field to bring in a decent wage now. Displaced A&P mechanics with current experience 5-10+ years of heavy jet are having a hard time bringing in $16 an hour in big city. I'm doing far better than that now. Besides I hate working nights and I really like the freedom of being my own boss even though the benefit package is nil. I have entertained thoughts of marrying someone helpful with the business and who has a nice benefit package.

I don't expect full involvement from a wife with the biz but a lack of hostile jamming would be nice. I could go on about truly mind blowing boat anchor events where she has thrown major fits over business decisions because it may affect holiday plans or vacations. I've posted some of this on professional industry forums and almost unanimously they say "she doesn't give a rats @$$ about your biz"...divorce her while you still have a chance.

I though I had overlooked many of the offenses she has thrown in my direction....however last night I was making mental list of her history of jamming in all aspects of my professional life [even before biz #1 & #2] and I became very angry thinking about them. In aviation it is commonly known that "the pilot in command is solely responsible for the safe operation of the aircraft"....lately it has dawned on me that I have a loose cannon on board ad I need to take evasive action to make sure I don't crash the plane.

I absolutely could not do a good job of raising my son as single parent running 2 businesses. If she had gone home to be with Jesus 3 weeks ago I would of had to hire a nanny pronto. She really does a great job of taking care of the house and making sure my son's homework gets done. 5 stars all the way in that area. She really isn't a high maintenance woman spending $ on Gucci bags, getting a pedicure and having her nails done. But leaving me hanging while she takes off to her sister's house during the busy season is what drives me nutty. She always seems to "need a break" drives to her sisters 6+ hours away probably 8 times per year. It is not the money spent on gas that gets me... it's the lack of support and lack of regard on how this affects my business logistically during the busy season. The phone rings off the hook at times and I need help intercepting some calls so I can actually do the work.

Guess who will be gone during Spring break again. :bear_angry:

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

GET THE F/K OUT AND TAKE THE LUMPS..

You are in a no hope situation ..get out and pay the price
for in the long run you will be and feel better..

Get the crap out..IMHO..

If what you have posted is true....

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Why don't you have her fly instead of drive? Does she not like airports?

What if she gets sick / vertigo driving to her sisters by herself? You're out 2k+ for the ER/ gas money a lot of time / hassle / aggravation...


Here is where my calculation would be:
13 hour round trip, 24 gallons of gas = my time is worth $25 an hour at least ( i bet there are people on here who value their time much higher )
total spent on trip = 75$ in gas + 300$ in time + wear tear on the car + slightly higher risk of injury + carsick/vomitting/ vertigo

VERSUS
5 hour round trip by plane, plane ticket = 125$ in time, +$200 plane ticket = NO BRAINER I am probably flying here, even though I hate planes.

Considering your wife probably values her time at 50-100$ an hour, I'm confused as to why she doesn't fly instead of drive...

Problem is neither of you can possible afford a divorce right... lawyers will eat through 15 or even 50k in no time...

The problem is you will be stuck paying for 2 mortgages/rents , 2 sets of utilities, child support, alimony... there is no way yo ucan afford all of that. The laws in this country are so utterly insane that it just doesn't make any sense to get married in the eyes of the state any more unfortunately

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

QWAK,When you are in a RIGED GAME the only thing even close to WINING :signs14:---- is geting OUT of the GAME! :signs14:

29 years ago this coming July -- My lady and I, signed a contract to BUY @ 10% intrist :thumb.aspx: this 40 achers with a small cabin on it. :36_3_13: A month later she got SCARED, buyers REMORSE :36_1_25: met a LAWYER in a parking lot :banghead: and TOTALY bailed out and at the time all my income was from a small home repair business I ran from home -- THAT is how I met HER in the FIRST PLACE! :banghead: :confused_ma:

I had to take a job at much less $$$ and try to keep my business going but working 7 days and the days being 12 to 14 hours each,WARES you down FAST :favorites21:and I was a WAGE SLAVE for almost 6 years TRAPED and trying to just HANG ON to that land and cabin! :yes: :thinkey:

It was 10x harder and has thaken about 10x longer than I imagined it would take :thinkey: but the place is payed off and PREPED to the RAFTERS -- litterly :yes: mean wile I found out about HER on the internet a fiew years back. :thinkey::cry1:

She got he house in the BURBS on a CULDASACK near her sister, like she wanted but her children never learned to be strong and independent so were living with her (in there mid 30s) and being suported by MOM -- until she LOST the house any way. :signs14: :36_1_30:

NOW to me I see it this way:thinkey: --- IT is ALL about FREE CHOICE and FREE WILL:yes: and IT could have been MUCH much WORSE :thinkey: :36_1_25: :yes: --- in a sence I now see it as having DOGED A BULIET and had she stayed longer I would have LOST EVERY THING :favorites21: :36_1_25: :yes:

She got what SHE wanted and SO did I -- it just did NOT go as I planed or IMAGINED it would at the time! :452: :confused_ma: :10_1_19:

Every day is JUDGMENT DAY and the judgments you make --- decide your FUTURE! :thinkey: :yes: :36_3_13: :shine:

We can NOT change what IS :452: We can NOT change what OTHERS chose to believe :36_1_30: --- WHAT we can change :yes: and the ONLY thing we CAN actualy change is how WE chose to RELATE to the SITUATIONS we confront as we try to navigate threw them! :yes: :thinkey: :36_3_13: :shine:

the DUCK :15_1_70v:

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

$15k to $50k for a divorce......:bawling: :puke:

What ever happened to old time "cheap" biblical divorce due to the hardness of one heart? I don't think it cost them a years wages to file back then....?

I'm a very traditional classical Christian world view person....but frankly I hate the idea of being married again...yet I'm still married :no_ma:

Correct me if I'm wrong but I believe Kent Hovind's [Dr. Dino] daughters or sons are married under a common law arrangement to keep the state out of the marriage.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

HiHo;
Man, I really feel for you brother.
and I am praying for you.
I really don't know what else to say(cause I don't wanna sound preachy)

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Again and my last on this thread..

If it that so far gone,


You are screwed , blued, and may not have the tatto
except in your heart and sole..

Get out and take the lunps..If kids are involved make sure you are part of their life..
But get out..

Time will heal...may take 10-20 years or more..

but you will be better off in the long run...

Peace of mind= priceless

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Maybe so, but I'm sure you know that Dr. Hovind and his wife are both in Federal prison for something like 80 counts of income tax evasion?

I met Kent Hovind back in the 90's and he was a really nice man and put on a great presentation, but just like most tax protestor types, he couldn't separate idealism from reality.

Now he's in Federal prison and forfeited everything he owned because he refused to "render unto Ceasar"..

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

QWAK,Don't know if this will help ,but some VINTAGE DYLAN music tends to help me PONDER on these sort of things:yes: -- perhaps it will help you too. :dontknow:





the DUCK :15_1_70v:

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Gotta love how the gov uses force to make people comply.

Let me get this straight, now the government still isn't getting any taxes from them because they are in jail and now has to fork over at least $40k per year to jail each of them. Doesn't make much sense to me from a money stand point but then again that's not what taxes are about in the first place anyway.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

I see you like Dylan. What you think of PPM?

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

No more of that. You're the bad guy for preparing, you're the bad guy for having two businesses (hat tip to you) You're the bad guy for not letting her move ... blah blah blah.

You aren't a bad guy. If the wife is treating you as such you need to put your foot down.

Divorce page open? Sure - does she expect you to play the role of the bad guy forever? What's the one thing she really knows about you - you prepare for bad times!

She want's to go live with family, send her off. Separation won't hurt your situation and it might help.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Maybe these links will help you get you started for what you are looking for???

http://www.scribd.com/doc/7547740/Re...arrige-License

http://74.125.47.132/search?q=cache:...&ct=clnk&gl=us

http://loveforlife.com.au/content/08...-william-dixon

http://74.125.47.132/search?q=cache:...&ct=clnk&gl=us

http://forum.worldfreemansociety.org...p?f=119&t=2660

Post subject: Re: Recission of signature.. What did I forget?Posted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 5:13 am



Joined: Fri Jan 30, 2009 11:37 am
Posts: 2297
Location: Great south lands [Van Die MENS land] redlands
Chapter: Australia
Location: great south lands
Speciality: witnessing while notarising
it looks fine john
exept it should be 3 pages
and in a bigger font...old judges like to read big print

anyhow i simply spread out what you wrote
i few minour addendums

[quote]
Jack Shewchuk
Vital Statistics Agency
PO BOX 9657
STN PROV GOVT
Victoria BC.
V8W 9P3
To: Jack Shewchuk,
acting as Chief Executive Officer, Vital Statistics BC;


It has recently come to my attention that the marriage agreement between the entities Jack Dee Doe and Jill Doe Dee dated October, 2003 is a contract in fact between the corporate Province of British Columbia and the legal entity Jack Dee Doe, and the corporate Province of British Columbia and the legal entity Jill Doe Dee, and not in fact a covenant strictly between the flesh and blood entities Jack and Jull as I was led to believe.

Facts that would have invalidated this contract were not disclosed at the outset.

The fact that this contract is a corporate merger between the three fictional parties is sufficient grounds to render the choice of entering into this contract unpalatable and

consent would not have been provided.

The legal definition of �apply� is synonymous with the word �beg� and I do not beg, nor has any other entity the authority to demand that I beg for anything. I did not consent to beg for a license and therefore the application for the license is hereby void.

The concept of registration points to the abandonment of ownership or control of a thing to the body demanding the registration, and as I have not given consent that the government is to be the owner or controller of any union between me and another, this registration is also void.

I have the right to rescind my signature for cause on any contract, and herby exercise that right. This aforementioned contract is in all ways void ab initio and no obligation exists on my part to honor any of the requirements that this contract demands.

You are hereby directed to remove any and all reference to the legal entity Jack Dee Doe and any marks made by the living entity acting as agent for that fiction from all records relating to any marriage or union to the legal entity Jill Doe Dee, without fee or recourse.

You are further directed to provide proof of service and fulfillment of this demand within fourteen (14) days of the receipt of this notice. Failure to honor or properly dispute these demands within the time provided will result in the activation of a fee schedule of $2000.00

per day or part thereof ending on the day
that this matter is settled, as determined by me. Further, a fee of $200.00

Notice of Rescission of Signature

Notice to agent is notice to principal

All rights reserved,
Without prejudice
without understanding


per page will be charged for continuing correspondence that I feel is not productive,
not necessary or caused by acts or omissions by any government agent or assignee not acting in good faith.

Should third party legal action be required, a fee of $25,000.00 per day or part thereof will be charged.
Pursuant to the Canadian Criminal Code, section 337, you have an obligation to fulfill or properly dispute this demand or risk criminal charges.

Everyone who, being or having been employed in the service of Her Majesty in right of Canada or a province, or in the service of a municipality, and entrusted by virtue of that employment with the receipt, custody, management or control of anything, refuses or fails to deliver it to a person who is authorized to demand it and does demand it is guilty of an indictable offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding fourteen years.

R.S., c. C-34, s. 297.


The information provided in this Notice is true and accurate to the best of my knowledge.

The use of a Notary Public does not constitute consent to joinder to any fictional entity, but for attestation purposes only. All responses are to be sent to the Author through the Notary Public listed below.
Without malice, ill will, aforethought, vexation or frivolity, all rights reserved.

AS TRUSTEE
ON BEHALF OF [person]..Name:_____________________ Autograph: ___________________[without understanding ...in honour]

Notary Public:
Name: _______________________ Phone: (____)___________
Address : _______________________
_______________________
City: _______________________
Prov: _______________________
Zip: _______________________

_________________
http://forum.onlineopinion.com.au/user. ... ow=history
trustee over the persona fiction named
general comment only
not legal advice in any way shape or maner
info/opinion is offered freely
origonal copyright ownership as applicable shall remain with its creator
all rights preserved

Top

Jace: Johanson
Post subject: Re: Recission of signature.. What did I forget?Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 5:54 am



Joined: Mon Feb 16, 2009 10:45 am
Posts: 272
Chapter: America
Location: Utah
Speciality: Martial Arts & Analytical Thought
Recission of power of attorney adhesion contract/tacit procuration might also be a good idea. I know you sorta cover it indirectly, but I'd make it expressedly covered by this or a separate document.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

No, the government got PLENTY from them because they seized their entire Pensacola estate as well as thousands in cash....

The Hovind's ruined themselves because he refused to pay a few thousand in taxes, (which he had in cash and could easily have done).

I like the guy and his family, but he chose the wrong battle to fight...

He was winning at the battle God gave him, but he chose to fight his own insignificant battle with the IRS....

Now he is in Federal prison...He is discredited and his great message is ruined.....All because he didn't pay a few $K of taxes that he legitimately owed...

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

[QUOTE=HiHoSilver64;2173763]

her complaint is we live too far out.

Wife does not do well with any crisis. near meltdown on her part.

it is in fact she resents living here [She wants to live next door to her sister]

This is the same woman that argued toe to toe with her dad and all the sisters would get in trouble because of her. [QUOTE]



Hi,

Just my 2 cents. You must think outside the box, regular methods aren't working.

The business or being prepared per se are not the problem. It is something inside of her that is.....fear:favorites21:resistance:favorites21:tig htness:favorites21:uncooperative. It is when SHE deals with it IF she does, then it will all resolve itself. The best you can do is to help her recognize her resistance and lead her to change it, not force her to. Think outside the box more.

Translation is: IF she is willing, try to help her understand her fear of not living close to her sister, her fear of crisis, and why she feels the need to be argumentative. Usually it ends up.. wanting attention because of not feeling loved.:bear_wub: when she was YOUNGER.

It is not the third party is the problem it is just EASY for her to tell someone else YOU are the problem and are selfish. INSTEAD of feeling and admitting to herself hey deep down I don't feel happy, living closer to my sister makes me FEEL happy l feel more love living next to her.

I hope what I've said is useful and not to off the wall. I wish you well and good luck.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Before you even think about divorce:

Take out loans on the house, deplete all your bank accounts, Say you need it for the business. Rat hole the money. Get a storage unit and start filling it with preps, -out of her site out of her mind. Take her off ALL your accounts - checking -savings - credit cards ect. Get a PO box and start having all your mail go there instead of to your house. If she doesn't want to help with the business, she has no need to know what the business is doing. Make HER pay half of the monthly bills with her unemployment check. Next time she is at her sisters house - INSIST that she stay a few months longer. If she does come home, have a shovel rake and garden seeds waiting for her and demand a garden!

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

OMG........i never thought i would ever hear this type of advice from a woman......you go girl!!!!!.....on the other hand if you give her to much of a reality check she might decide to stay forever and make your life hell........my advice would be the same as Ima's on the business stuff but every time you talk to her tell her how wonderful she is and how she could do so much better etc. cause women/men like that will belive that stuff and decide they can do much better without you and leave on their own.....

at least that worked on my X 20yrs ago....heck she even decided to pay me child support.....was happy to leave....didnt fight over things....the grass was so much greener on the other side she couldnt wait to get to the other side....ate a little chit but it sure paid off in the long run big time...


LOL......just remember this advice comes from a sucessfully Divorced single dad kinda guy

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Ima, this all sounds good, but a good divorce lawyer is going to see through these steps like a cheap glass. Now, if the lawyer is your typical schmuck, had to take his Bar Exam twice, etc, then these maneuvers might pan out.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

sure the D lawyer can see though things.......but heck all you gotta do is tell them you spent the cash on vegas...booze....hookers........worst that could happen is having to pay back half the debt......the trick is to get it all done on the quiet BEFORE shtf...........if you get to feeling guilty you can always share later with her......

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

forget the storage unit...

get a friend to open the PO box for you...

buy bits of gold + silver , bury them, and forget about them until long after the divorce is finalized... sounds like lawyers will get most of your money... but make sure you have some untraceable real money without a paper trail attached to it... you will not regret it later...

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

**UPDATE**

Went to marriage counseling last week - went well - I thought. Frankly I'm willing to give this a go even if it is only a major reality check for her. Counselor is an older mentally sharp male and frankly sees what is going on...I believe. I had to prepared to unload in session #1 but I played that hand rather light. Next week I will play it heavier. I do believe this will be a wake up call for her..... Counselor said we are extreme polarized in what we want goals wise. We both admitted that we have only stayed together for the sake of my son these last 6 years.

Ok ...lately I've thought I'm 45 but I can easily pass for mid 30's if I loose the beard - with beard look late 30's maybe if that - very healthy...I don't look haggard, goaty and run down. Rupert and Tom the FF Lieutenant on the current Survivor are my age. Sorry they look old to me...they make me feel old looking at them. I can pass for Colby's age maybe year or 2 older - but I have less hair on top. I'm 100% functional don't take any meds of any kind flat out don't need them. I take premium supplements very health aware. My dad is late 80's looks early 60's...no joke. Hardly any gray hair....almost not believable.

So.......I'm thinking - I'd like to have more children possibly. I would not look out of place with a mid 20's to early 30's young lady with similar goals. Why be the marriage martyr and settle for this. I have 25+ good working years ahead of me with both business ok maybe 20...that includes raising more children etc. Am I not doing myself a favor? Sure would be nice to have a team player on board. And those gushy card for Valentines day - B day anniversary can actually be bought. Love songs are no longer thought of in a cynical light. Humorous cards can now only be picked out on occasion.... not out of necessity. If I have to keep paying alimony....I need more traction. Correct?

Replacement Criteria:
* Wants to live on rural property and is excited about a green house, wood cook stove and root cellar etc.
* Doesn't mind the longer drive time to town and enjoys the rewards of rural life.
* Doesn't make a ton of excuses to NOT be proficient with all firearms. Fundamentally understands the need for this. Trust me on this folks if only 1 out of 40 adult males had my ability and tools in this area no invading army or tyrannical gov't could ever run amuck. I could easily work as weapons instructor...very easy and natural for me. Thanks to military, private training and competitive shooting in the past.
* Actually helps and understand the business I run even if participation is not very high but at least she doesn't fight me on it. Being computer literate and more technical would be nice. Yes Grossing well over $70k with business #2 is possible even in this economy. Next year even!
* Also physically fit and can possibly participate in biz #2 if needed and won't fuss if I ask for help.
* Doesn't have a headache and is in the mood more than 8 times a year. This just never made sense to me for someone who wanted to have more kids these last 6 years....?

So in some way I may be doing her favor [current wife] ...it forces her to get out and get a decent job [again - she had one once] at early 40's and not early 50's. My son's heavy homework load has to stop which means school change if the split occurs. Hardly ideal but not the end of the world for him. Not having us both under the same roof would be a blow to him. That does hurt thinking about that.

Or option B ....wait 9-10 years son turns 18 ... Divorce her and then she is on her own. She can live next to her sister now. This is the survival prep sub-forum correct? If the SHTF in any major way during the next 10 years and she has not made a substantial improvement I will be furious angry PO'ed. I can already tell how peeved I will be on this current path. I do not want that to happen. At that point little can be done. Remember just about all my remaining capital is tied up in biz #2. I've already spent thousands on marketing just this year. No money for added preps or real estate now.

Even if I remained single away from her and hired a book keeper for biz #2 maybe a house keeper to clean up my messes...Am I still not - better off?

Frankly I don't want to hurt her...I do care about her and her well being and I don't wish her any harm...but I just can't see myself doing this much longer - unless there is a noticeable change. Even if she changes... I have my doubts...so much damage has been done and the history of her meddling in my professional life before my current businesses [yes the same pattern - just different]...her selfish behavior.

Again I repeat she keeps a clean house and does a great job of homework enforcement for my son. 5 stars there.

If I could do a non nasty split I would with limited $ bleeding...I would. Dad is just moving out shared custody.....basically an open door arrangement...no more arguing. Seriously I don't think anyone would want her or tolerate her stuff...her own siblings agree. She is only attracted to men that are way out of her league.

Fact is I have no time or money left for a nasty split now.....I have no choice but to give it rest for 5 - 7 months....need to get $ traction and fix this later.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

I hate debt of any kind...I can't sleep with any load like that.

I'm just to forgiving and nice for this....it would hurt my son...not worth it.

See anything that causes a boo hoo fest crying time etc. nothing gets done...hell to pay and I loose traction putting out fires.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Playing the take away will be hell....I fear reality will set in and she will not let me go unless I do something stupid.

Speaking of stupid.....and forgive me Christian brothers and sisters [I'm classic traditional Christian world view]......I actually thought about blatant adultery so she will want to get away from me. Then I fear a nasty split would be in order.

I must be crazy to think this correct? :signs14:

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Hi HiHO;

Are you going to Christian marriage counseling?

Your wife is a believer too, right?

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Yes...crazy isn't it. :Surrender:

And this is from someone who believes many so called Christians are going straight to hell as soon as they die. Pretty scary....I don't believe in greasy grace ...once saved always saved either.

Kinda feels like doing this and I'm a pilot myself....http://www.maniacworld.com/Crazy-Stu...enger-Jet.html

http://www.maniacworld.com/Crazy-Stu...senger-Jet.jpg

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Thats Great!

You both need to Surrender to God.

Keep going to the counseling, and if you Both do what the bible says to do, things will change for the better.

Check out things on the web about what the Bible says about Marriage and how to make it work.

Maybe sites like these

http://christianity.about.com/od/faq...lemarriage.htm

http://www.crosswalk.com/marriage/

And Most importantly Read the Bible yourself.

God invented Marriage.

He knows what makes it work :ok:

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

An Illustration

Eph. 5:23-32

For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of his body, the church; he gave his life to be her Savior. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives must submit to your husbands in everything.

And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by baptism and God's word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man is actually loving himself when he loves his wife. No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it, just as Christ cares for his body, which is the church. And we are his body.

As the Scriptures say, "A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

HHS thanks for your candor on this thread ... all us guys face um, "challenges" with our wives at some point or another.

I notice that you talk about your impressions/views ... was the counselor able to solicit or "surface" any of the views of your wife? What are the underlying assumptions she is operating under?

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Yep I know the drill.... all the stuff....would you also believe.... that I believe remarriage after your prior spouse is still sucking air is in fact veiled adultery or a form of progressive polygamy? Why can't I adjust my theology and be like the rest of the remarried folks in the pews. The church is full of people in this boat. Not trying to point a finger at anyone or make enemies but scripture is pretty clear on this. I don't want to debate this. I'm almost against marriage at this point. Remember we got married quickly to avoid sin correct. A long engagement complete with full fornication would of revealed incompatibility issues and a split probably would of happened past tense. We are no longer sheep herders in bible times or cowboys back in the 1800's. Living the true Christian life this day and age is the hardest it has ever been IMO.

The classic early 1900's Christian view was just this. In fact some of the gay marriage advocates are calling Christians hypocrites for this very issue...and frankly they are correct in calling it hypocritical in regard to habitual divorce and remarriage. The Assemblies of God denomination has changed their by-laws in the last few years. I went to an AG bible college. Divorced pastors are out on their ear.

Well since polygamy is not an option....frankly might work theoretically speaking....in this situation maybe I can justify it as progressive polygamy.

This is truly one hell of pickle I'm in ... no matter what I do is pretty much pretty a much a no win situation if you ask me.

Jesus could change her.... sure...I could also get a frontal lobotomy and not care anymore. A Zebra won't change it's stripes. Fact is she has only changed due to fear IMO.

Frankly I don't want to get into a theological debate but I have major struggles with the existents of evil...all the pain and suffering in the world...and how it's all going to work out in the end.

Meanwhile the church has been infiltrated by dark forces and is spinning their wheels complaining about Obama and largely being an tool of the TPTB. The church has the power to stop so much wrong in the world inside of one calendar year. We need more Chuck Baldwin's, Ron Pauls and Stan Monteiths out there. The church is asleep and in denial. Sure a few souls are saved but so much pain and suffering happens because the majority of the church is in the dark. Why hasn't Jesus awakened more of the church yet? I don't want to damage any believers faith but mine has truly been shaken these last 8 years. The church is woefully incompetent in answering many tough questions. Issues people become atheist and agnostics over.

I want to do what is best for everybody....Jesus could of already changed her....but people have to want to change....I'm dealing with someone who just doesn't get it...on multiple levels.

Jesus could also stop this country form being invaded [including NBC warfare], bank failures, famine etc. but I believe total meltdown is around the corner - the worst it has ever been in human history in mass scale.

What I want to avoid is the absolute rage I fear I will have when a total SHTF seniors happens. I frankly fear loosing my salvation over this high level of rage I will have. I'm not a violent person or prone to unruly behavior in any way....but I know my limits. Yes 60 more years of peace and prosperity I can continue to do this yes.

This issue kinda is the whole point of this thread.

Crazy as it is theoretically pondering committing adultery now to avoid a total rage moment later is the lesser of the sins...IMO. I have been extremely angry with my wife in past... not sure if I can handle the cumulative effect of a all of this coming to head down the road.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

QWAK,CRAZY is CRAZY:confused_ma: and can NOT be FIXED! :452: :signs14:

You can NOT fix some one elses problems :36_1_30: you CAN make THERE problems YOURS:banghead: and pay and help them in every way posable :yes: :36_3_13: but REALY that is just ENABELING them to CONTINUE and HIT the WALL harder -- eventualy! :yes: :36_1_25: :signs14:

Last year my Neace commited SUICIDE:36_1_25: -- she was a very desterbed person who had married in to a wealthy family with all imaginable privlages but still could not be HAPPY! :452: :signs14:

Every thing posable was done to give her what ever would make her happy and doctors and clinics too, price was no object -- but nothing worked and on Christmas eve she took pills and killed her self. :36_1_25: :signs14: :shine:

It was sad and tragic :cryin2::bawling: but doing MORE and GIVING MORE does NOT change the ACTUAL PROBLEM -- it only hides it for a little longer. :thinkey: :yes: :signs14: :shine:

BTW: My neace was working as a NANY at the time she met her hudsband and was sweet and wonderfull and very good looking :36_3_16::36_3_13: BUT she was BROKEN in side and could not be fixed and could not FIX her self. :452:

---------------------- CONTINUED ----------------

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

---------------------- CONTINUED ----------------

There are a lot of DAMAGED people out there :yes: WE are all damaged from bumping in to REALITY and it HURTS!:thinkey: Parts get BROKEN in the COLISION :36_1_25: not all damage is OBVIOUS! :36_1_25: :452: :signs14:

I have heard it said and am inclined to believe that -- "We are all a little STRONGER -- in the BROKEN places" :thinkey: :shine: This can be both GOOD and BAD depending on how one relates to the damaged parts.

When the STRONGER broken part becomes the dominent and controling factor in ones life :thinkey: it becomes the point from which virtualy all choices are made and the life trajectory EXTREAMLY ALTERED! :thinkey:

You can CHANGE your SELF -- but can NOT change any one else :signs14: no matter how much you LOVE :36_3_13: or HATE :realmad: :pissedoff: them! :452: :signs14: :shine:

It is a HARD lesson to LEARN for every one involved! :thinkey: :yes: :shine:

In a way it seems to me :wink: Life is all about FREE WILL and FREE CHOICE :thinkey:and how we SURENDER our free will -- for WHO and WHY and HOW -- we decide to DO what we DO or -- decide NOT to. :shine:

PS: We are ALL drilled a bit OFF CENTER :yes: because the CENTER is ware ever EACH IS! :wink: :confused_ma: --- ALL perspective is SELF CENTERED with RESPECT to and FOR ALL OTHERS :thinkey: -- with out the AWAIRNESS or CONCERN for the OTHERS -- conflicts of INTRIST are normal and tend to RESTRICT FLEXABILITY -- one BECOMES either the WALL or the PROJECTILE hiting the WALL -- either way it is painfull and becomes a LESSON LEARNED! :thinkey: :111: :cry1:

the DUCK :15_1_70v:

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

HOLY COW!! your post stunned me.. Wow, where to begin.

First off I am stunned that someone having these types of marital issues sees trading one partner for another as the answer. You have build a fantasy relationship in your mind with the perfect woman. In time there will be new realities in that relationship too, they may be worse. YIKES!! ask anyone who has done that how that works out... I belong to a survival group and we currently have two couples who are in agreement on prepping, weapons and other matters who are splitting up anyway. Its not always that simple..



Another point.. If your wife is not working she needs to get a job. If you leave her while she is not working and taking care of your son alimony will almost be certain. If she has a job it may not.

About marriage counseling. I have heard extremely positive things about this program. I know several couples who considered their situation impossible who went to this program and saved their marriages. It is catholic founded but that is not a requirement. You and your wife might to at least take a look.. http://www.retrouvaille.org/

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

The simplest solution is for both of you is to both take time off. Send her to her sisters for 3 months and you stay there. At the end of the 3 months the absents with either make the heart grow fonder or make the mind say why have I waited this long.

You are trying to make a city girl into a country girl who is bucking and kicking all the way. Some girls have it in them.... some don't!

Send her away on peaceful terms and see if she comes back. Who knows she just might miss it.

In the mean time, you can be prepping with out being disturbed.

I also agree with Avalon..... WOW..... she isnt out of the home yet, and you are already fantasizing about your perfect love. One thing I have learned... ain't no one perfect! You give a little and she gives a little. It works out.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Yes I'd never consider remarriage unless compatibility is very high. California dreaming I guess...conceptually not the actual state. :date: :4_8_4v:

Due to homework load school...having to move in few months ...just can't happen. Have to sit tight until summer at least. Again no money for really any preps but at least the other house is basically more rural wood stove double the square feet many positives just a few negatives.

From April 1st until memorial day weekend I work 7 days a week 12+ hour days.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Well i wasn't really referring to all that stuff.

I was mostly referring to what I posted in Post 121

She needs to realize and except that you are the head of the Body that both of you have become.

And you need to love her just a Christ loves us.


that's all i was trying to say.

Im just not very good at saying this stuff.

Hopefully the counselor you are seeing is.


and Like Ima and Avalon said,
it may seem"The Grass is Greener" (but its usually not.)
give a little more time....

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

I understand and thanks for the suggestions and links. I do appreciate the concern, prayers and all the support in this thread. I view this life as a test of sorts...I hope to pass the test.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

HiHo, I'd like to revert to my Happy_Merlin persona and suggest the following:

If, because you worry that Peak Oil might make our motoring society unsustainable, and you'd like to prepare for that, you should purchase a bicycle, then ride it. Ride it to the bank. Ride it to the post office. Ride it to the library and to the grocery store for small purchases. Go for a ride every day because you enjoy the fresh air and the sunshine. Ride it even if the sky is spitting rain drops and threatening rain. Leave your car at home. The exercise is good for you. You will save money on gasoline.

If, because you are concerned that a food crisis might hit the fan, plant a garden. Plant a garden because fresh produce is healthier. Plant a garden because you need to dig in the earth and you enjoy the air, the sunshine and the exercise.

If, because you're worried about feeding your family should you lose your job or fall ill, stock up on cans of foods you eat every day when they are on sale. Buy food cheap and in quantity because it lowers your costs.

If, because you are concerned that energy costs are spiraling out of control, replace the seals on your Anderson casement windows with modern, efficient seals. Blow additional cellulose into your attic. Install a new, energy efficient furnace and hotwater heater. Replace the seals around your front and back doors. Enjoy the savings.

If, because you believe that a food crisis may be a part of our country's future, store wheat berries, purchase a grain mill, and learn to bake fresh bread every week in your kitchen. Even learn how to bake sourdough bread that requires no commercial yeast. It tastes great! Store basic foods, which have longer shelf lives than prepared foods, and learn to cook from scratch delicious meals.

In other words, make prepping a lifestyle, not a burden. Do it because it is the right thing to do whether TS ever hits TF or not. Do it because it is economical. Do it because it feels good. Do it because it is healthy.

While you're at it, make sure your next door neighbor doesn't plant a tree that shelters your garden from the sun. Damn! There is always a thorn in the rose bush.

But, for God's sake, don't do it because you are preparing for the end of the world. Your wife will come around in a hurry if you show her a better way.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Merlin,

You raise good points. My ultimate goal in the future is to have a homestead that has a basic simple primitive layer of operation. Sure it may be a huge amount of extra manual work but all the bases are covered. A person can only do what they are capable of at any given time. At this time my hands are largely tied.

Currently we have no garden or garden area there is no space and there is very little sun due to large tall trees just south of us. The property we were going to move to in a few months with a good sized garden area "with total open sun" that opportunity just closed. That place also had a good sized shop for all my stuff for very little extra $. Plenty of room for preps galore etc. So that means we are stuck with our our extremely crowed house and crowed garage jammed full of my equipment for biz #2...we are bursting at the seams.

I told my wife last year start stocking up on canned good what we normally use and cycle them in. She said, "but where do I put them?" I said find a place the alternative is not a good situation...find a way....what do you want to starve! It brewed into a fight. We currently live is a small house so we need to find another place to live. Bigger places cost more $$$ in rent - remember virtually all my real estate $ is sunk into biz #2 which can generate very respectable cash flow that WIFE already admitted she is not all that excited to help with because it locks us down here and not living next to her sisters. Moving to her sisters ...[if that cold day in hell occurred] ....and if I just broke down and said ok have it YOUR WAY yes lets move.... it actually takes money and proceeds from business #2 which she isn't excited to help with so we can move even if I wanted to due to her sandbagging and low level sabotage for a lack of better term. Business #1 can be done from anywhere in the world with broadband internet and the income is fairly consistent and reliable. And she is not working which means meager unemployment checks trickle in.

I was at a wholesale store yesterday with my son and saw canned goods racks and food storage systems etc. Must be nice I thought, Lord I hope I don't need that in the next 18 months. We have ZERO place to put that stuff.

I don't hate my wife and I don't wish her any harm or distress but the aggravation factor is very high. If she was technical logical person [some women actually are] she could be reasoned with. I'm very technical, logical, methodical in how I do things. She is NOT!

Many years ago year, my wife out of the blue commented, "you know you frankly would of been better off with someone like [person we knew of female cute and technical manual writer for big Co.] ...I undstood what she meant not because I had eye for the other women [thought really never occurred to me really]...but because she clearly saw that type of person was a better fit for who I am.

My wife's family knows her to be difficult to deal with. Parents and siblings even her beloved sister has spoken to me about childhood issues that are at the root.

Jesus can change her anytime....I'm not sure what He is waiting for. I don't mean to be a doubting Thomas but frankly bad stuff happens to God's people....horrible things. My brother died when he was 5 years old it was major black flag event for the family. It was never the same after that. My brother got an instant ticket to heaven.

I basically view this life as we are let loose in this life on the planet in dark pitch black room. We are fumbling for the light switches constantly. It makes it very hard due to a lack of cooperation when a spouse is sand bagging for whatever "root" reason my efforts to find one of the key light switches. The church gives its self a HUGE black eye for being a tool of TPTB with much of their nonsense. The church is supposed to be the salt and light of the world but it has been infiltrated by the enemy. If the church was doing it's job correctly there would be fewer light switches to flip or even look for and there would be a dim light to guide the way.

I guess I can continue to do this if life as we know continues without major interruption. Happy with this.... hell no.

Seek a full battle divorce NOW and kill off most of my income from biz #2...then we are all hosed...SOL down the river.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

These quotes alone speak volume about you. Not to mention the fantasy marriage you have concocted in your mind. Until you realize that YOU are part of the problem too you will never make this or any other relationship work. Everyone of your posts has been about YOU and she is not doing what YOU want. A relationship requires cooperation from BOTH parties.

It is clear you do not respect her goals as you so clearly demonstrated when you scoffed at the prospect of her getting a job that didn't involve working for you. How do you expect her to respect you and what you want when you don't do the same for her? Try fixing you problems and changing who you are and then see if she is willing to make changes to be more accommodating for you. This is the only way to make this work. Show her you are serious about working things out by being willing to make sacrifices to accommodate her. Your behavior and attitude are the only things you can control. See that you take the beam out of your eye before you ask her to address her's. If she cares about you and the relationship she will see you are changed and serious about making things work and will reciprocate.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Very Good post and points Goldberg!

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

http://www.guy-sports.com/fun_pictures/penguin.jpg

Joking aside, HiHo you have a right to be happy.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Sure this may sound one sided [it's only me here] but if you only knew how both her siblings felt, her parents, one of her former co-workers ...yes same control games but different at work. She always and I mean always want everything her way. As kids she would get slapped in the face by her step dad. Then all of them would get in trouble...maybe you missed that part? Over and over and over again.

Just over a year ago wife told me she doesn't respect me, doesn't like me...blah blah only reason she has or we have stayed together is for our son.... Same mantra, not as nasty though, repeated up until early February. She said she even thought about moving out. I said with what your unemployment check? WT...? When I played the I think I'm done [been done] with this - it became a rapid turn around. I believe she still feels the same way about me but now I'm the meal ticket ...now she wants to work it out.

For you Christians out there she is one truly ignorant biblically illiterate believer. Serious dusty bible. She may of read a chapter in the bible by herself in the last 16 years. Listen up I can't even talk about Jesus with her ...with out her being irked. Yeah she was that way before I meet her ....that must be my fault as well. See the secret is live next to her sister...all is well then.

Sure we all have our faults but really...sure maybe I should quit my biz #2 sell off all my equipment from it and take a box boy job so she can live next to her sister. Guess what my brother in-law can't stand her. Even her sister said to me today, "I wish someone could get through to her". re: being extremely selfish and self centered. Oh ...I forgot ...I must be the problem....

Yes, guess what Jesus can change her. Jesus could of healed my mom dying of cancer but he didn't. I was a new a baby Christian when my mom died but maybe I did something wrong when I was just 19? Seriously I'd go a 40 day fast if I thought it would help. I can't work my business past a 36 hour fast.

Fantasy marriage you say? I can take lack of respect, dislike, your loosing your hair etc. but when there have been admissions about not really being trilled to help with biz #2 and frankly bltant threats of business sabotage over a year ago it makes it pretty tough. Yeah that's a mind blowing one. Maybe I can just give up and live under a bridge since working for living is not longer important. She has repeatedly meddled in my professional life before self employment. I could tell story after story but I won't. Not much point. I think we all get the point. Well maybe?

Sorry...I'm really only going to marriage counseling to shine the light on these issue. But then again it might come to light I'm the problem and I'll change my selfish ways.

After thinking about this the last day or so it is evident I'm done,...I've checked out,....finished. I just have to buy some time before I light the fuse [file papers]. I do fear it getting ugly, I fear her flipping out and going to full level sabotage mode. Did I mention she has struck me twice? The first time her family saw it when they where driving up to the house several years back. Perfect timing on their part. Last time was November over a business decisions [yeah my fault again] that may of required me to work on Christmas Day. I easily blocked all the blows. Karate lessons as a kid paid off I guess. Frankly if it was not for my son I would of called 911 and had her butt hauled off to jail. Then again cops will just chuckle about that type of stuff. Yeah a domestic voilence rap on one records doesn't help getting a job either. I have never struck or assaulted my wife. I've had a few angry thoughts and cuss fests over the years but have never physically abused her. I guess mental abuse since I don't let her have her way. Yeah I'm guilty abuser.

Marriage counseling will cost me a pile of money. Good! I need to have this on the record that I tried to make an effort and that if in fact she flips out on me that I have made a documented move in the proper direction. I know her pretty well but when it comes down to it this ....isn't going to work out....? I really don't know? In an emotionally distraught state nothing left to loose...I don't know. What she has done thus far is not rational...What she will do when she finds out in the end.....?

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Ha Ha...yeah well I could continue to live like this if I had a little respect and jamming and meddling would stop.

Yeah happy is a pleasant thought......:4_8_4v:

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Hiho,

If you're serious about divorce and nothing said here changes that, it might be time to delete this thread. Do you really want to have all these personal thoughts on public record?

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

As he stated in his first post, only a couple people on GIM know who he is in real life, so is this even an issue? ;)

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Nickelless,

Does his wife have access to the computer? Could she get access without him knowing if she suspects he might be thinking about divorce? Does she know he visits GIM? What about any mutual associates?

I suppose it's up to Hiho to judge. Not like I don't post my own personal thoughts and opinions on GIM as public record too. But seems this thread would be bad for him if it was read by the wrong people.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Hey there! IMHO, you, Goldberg, Imacanin and others in the same vein are spot-on in your posts here.

Just read this: have no comments of my own... but appreciate the quality posts. :wink:

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Yes some truth to what you say. Thinking about having it deleted. Give me a few days.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

So she wants to live next to her sister, how nice. More importantly, does her sister want her to live next door? Maybe some clues here.

I live 1 1/2 miles from my sister. Sometimes I wish it was 112 miles.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

I think the answer would be ....NO! Especially with the man of the other household. I always tell my wife ....when in Rome [sisters house] do as the Romans do. I have had many discussions with my sister in-law about how the you know who..... wants to steer the ship when in Rome. I wish my sister in-law would get firm with her sister. Her frequent visits cost them $ which they don't have. These are deep rooted issues from childhood that I'm not sure can be changed under any circumstances. Remember this same brother in-law has made statements ... "I'm really not sure how he does it..." Referring to me.

Frankly I think if the BIG "D" ever happened they would be one of the biggest losers in this situation next to my wallet.

Every decision I make I run it through the filter "how does this affect my son"....I will do what I have to make his future brighter. Every path I have theoretically chosen is not the best......but I'm trying to find the lesser evil.

Remember emotionally and theoretically I've already moved out across town just me and my dogs. Just here for the smoother overall flow of life...my son. My work demands are now getting fairly extreme 7 days a week now. I'm having to make decisions on what will NOT get done each and every day which affects $$$ flow.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

It can be.. Hell knows no fury like a woman after info to fry her husband or visa-versa.. I have been hacked twice for similar reasons as Hi-ho and it was not pretty..

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

FWIW she's not very computer literate and the page could be left open to the thread and it would not be noticed, but....if she did figure it out.........:fan:....:36_1_28:.....:s10:..... :evil: ........then....me doing my own laundry etc. ..... :stickyman

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

you would be amazed at how quick someone can become computer literate when they are on the hunt for info.. People got upset because I have deleted a few posts in the past.. You darn right I do.. As I said I have been hacked twice. Once by my husband and one by Daughter. I have a very nosey family.:mad_m:

It is NOT pretty to see all you "anonymous" posts printed out and handed to you by your spouse. :bear_w00t:

NOTHING on the internet is truly anonymous..

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

I am very upset that you deleted many of my posts in the past without warning, for what it's worth. It just doesn't make any sense to me, but no point wasting time trying to make sense out of things- I'm over it : ) I'm sorry for getting mad about it before, it was just very frustrating because I spent a lot of time writing those posts and couldn't really see any good reason for you to delete them... meanwhile you are making new posts about what guns you are buying... just made me suspicious is all.

I am sorry you have to put up with your husband and daughter hacking your accounts- that must be painful to have close family members you (obviously) can't trust actively trying to hack into your life. Very very few people who know me in real life know my GIM handle, and I plan to keep it that way for obvious reasons... nobody in my family even knows I post on this site. Be careful, choose a secure password, don't write it down, don't use your dogs name... clearly you need to develop a new system to prevent a third hacking... something didn't work out the first two times. I agree with you, like you said, nothing is anonymous these days

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Baby you left me
I didn't do nothing wrong
You know I love you, darlin
And I'm sorry that you're gone

I'm gonna miss you
I'm gonna miss you like the Devil
I'm gonna miss you like the Devil
But these things I'll overcome

I was wrapped around your finger
I'd do anything you'd say
I tried so hard to please you
But you left me anyway

I'm gonna miss you
I'm gonna miss you like the Devil
I'm gonna miss you like the Devil
But these things I'll overcome

Now; you told me that you loved me
I thought your love was true
I found another woman
Lovin you the way I do

I'm gonna miss you
I'm gonna miss you like the Devil
I'm gonna miss you like the Devil
But these things I'll overcome

Baby you left me
I didn't do nothing wrong
You know I love you
And I'm sorry that you're gone

I'm gonna miss you
I'm gonna miss you like the Devil
I'm gonna miss you like the Devil
But these things I'll overcome

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Firstly - I don't care how offensive this comes across......if you were here in my living room - the delivery would be just the same....so, it is not an internet thing....

There needs to be a limit to folks faith in how Christ can control and change things. Frankly - I don't follow any religion....I trust only in myself. I don't have much issue with others religions...as long as these folks are reasonable and show some logic. You can be the strongest Christian in the world.....chech the box....you have locked in your salvation....but Christ has zero to do with things like people getting cancer and dying - he has jack squat control over these things....this is a function of biology and doctors and technology....it has to do only with severity, detection and treatment.

Get over the idea that Christ can come along and change this person or even change you......

You are in exclusive control of what you make yourself into...same for your wife.

The two of you either need to get together and agree to fix your situation.....compromise....or move onward in 2 directions.

Anything beyond what I've said so far will only serve as insults....but it is hard for me to not just shake my head - when i see folks put so much faith in thier religion to solve real world problems. It ain't gonna' happen....you fix your crap.....if you want to think that your faith helped you along...great...but it is still you that made the change and were in control of implementation to effect the change.

You are in charge. You make happen what you want to happen.

BTW - get another woman if you and the current split....it is not adultry....it is your new wife.

Good luck.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

RRuprick,

Ahhhh, maybe I missed something. Didn't HiHoSilver already say he isn't counting on Jesus to change her or miraculously fix anything for him...... that sometimes bad crap just happens to people?

That what he wants from the modern "church" would be to just provide a bit of true guidance for people in this world of darkness, instead of being a tool of worldly powers?

Maybe I'm interpreting it wrong?

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

All I have to say about this is that your wife and your family comes first before any precious metals. The other thing I would like to mention is that when you get married you enter into a mutual relationship.

Just because the man is head of the household doesn't mean he should treat his wife like crap. Jesus said to love your wife as Jesus loved the church. Would Jesus sneak around and deceive his church?

Be up front, honest, and support your ideas with intelligent thought and reasoning. If your wife is completely unreasonable then you married her. Live with it.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Wow, so much well meaning advice that just doesn't seem to address the issue. The issue here is not money, religion, children, work, or even disagreeing with your wife. The only issue here is that you do not believe your wife is rational. That is, fortunately a 0/1 issue. Either you are correct and she is irrational or you are wrong and she is rational. Once you determine that for sure you can move on and take appropriate steps according to whatever value structure you have.

Reading this from afar, what you struggling to describe and what the other friendly readers are struggling to identify with, sounds like a form of mental illness. You should check out Borderline Personality Disorder or Histrionic Personality Disorder. A great many stories of undiagnosed BPD's sound like the tale you tell. Its worth a serious look on your behalf.

Once you have decided that she may have this illness you will need to make some critical decisions. Not understanding your belief structure fully I will not make recommendations nor I will not give advice but I will state some facts. People who are like this and have these illnesses do NOT get better. In fact, it typically gets worse as people age. There are treatments but they only cover up the symptoms, the actual disease is untreatable as of yet and the symptoms ALWAYS re-emerge.

Many very thoughtful and religious people also believe that since folks with this disorder cannot discharge their marriage vows that the marriage is null and void on its face. They simply are not capable of being in a relationship with you and god and so leaving them should not necessarily carry the same stigma as divource ordinarily does.

Waiting for god to fix your problems is a bit like waitig for godot. Best of luck with that.

If you decide she is rational and just difficult. Then really, mocha is right, you are just going to have to live with the consequences of a poor marriage. Sorry mate.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Correct me if I'm wrong but from all indications, the OP is treating his wife in a Christlike manner. He is trying to fulfill his Biblical obligation to care for his wife and love her unconditionally, just as Christ loves His church. I don't see where it's the OP's obligation to let his ungrateful wife know everything he is doing or trying to do to provide for her as long as he is conducting his business honestly. Just because he doesn't tell his wife everything he's doing doesn't mean he's lying about it. He's just trying to not stir up his wife.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

I do apologize for that but accusing me of being a Troll was little much. I didn't take offense at it though.. :) . I know you put a lot of work into the posts and I know many people read them including me and enjoyed them..

Im a little surprised you dont understand though. The general personality type if GIM can run a little paranoid to begin with let alone when you are being cyber snooped. Im not comfortable with leaving anything hanging in cyberspace forever...That's probably an indication i should not post them to begin with but when I did I was under assumption it was anonymous as the only person i have meet in real life off GIM is The Biss and his lovely wife.

Ill repeat it again mostly for myself. NOTHING you do or say on the Internet is anonymous..

Filling taxes late....?
 

Thanks for all the input I want to respond to some of these post but I'm running with both business at max capacity now 7 days a week - long hours....

My bigger concern short term is not filing my taxes by April 15th....now I'm wondering what the consequences will be of this....?
:stickyman

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

File for an extension asap and CYA.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

What an interesting thread.

HiHo - I think it's worth noting that you want your sister in law to put her foot down with your wife, when you have admitted that you have a tough time doing that yourself. I believe there is a passage in the bible regarding a log in your eye and the splinter in another eye. Just sayin'.

So here are my thoughts about the splinter in your eye (which is a nice distraction from the log in mine) . . .

It sounds like your wife is manipulative, and you are a martyr. Neither one of those are attractive.

Your post about seeking a new wife (and more children!) before this wife is yet gone was disturbing. Regardless of how young you look (?), you're going to need a huge time-out from dating after your divorce to clear your head. Finding someone to marry isn't as easy as it was when you did it the first time, unless you've retained the innocence, optimism, and foolishness of your youth - which no one here has.

I did not catch if your wife was interested in the #2 business originally. If your wife was not into the idea of your second business from the start, you shouldn't have counted on her support for it in any way. Discouraging her from a job because it pays "peanuts" is not a step in the right direction. You can't have it both ways (complaining about her unemployment and discouraging her from seeking employment).

About her being OK post-SHTF - if you don't have the desire to care for her in that situation, let her go. Can you imagine sharing your last can of beans (and every can of beans before that) with someone who makes you miserable and/or cries and whines all the time? Even my ex-bf who still makes fun of me about my preps - I would still care for him post-SHTF if I was able.

In the case that TS never HTF, what about sharing your last sunset, your last kiss, your last breath?

A final note . . . I am the product of two parents who did not love each other, but stayed together because of their "Christianity". Basically, they didn't want the embarrassment of divorce after all of those Sundays spent in church. There was no abuse, just a completely loveless relationship which lacked passion. Overall, I am fine. Girls really need their fathers. As far as marriage is concerned, I can't say I am fine in that regard. It seems children grow up to believe in the marriage that their parents have shown them by example.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

:ok: very intelligent post 3X
All very good points and Insights !

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Just a few min to check in then I need to run for the day.

My wife has become more helpful with the business since she has seen me add on marketing people and has seen the general strain and load on me going 7 days a week. She is still leaving for part of Spring break and going to her sisters.

Marriage counseling has to stop even though it has been productive. I'm loosing money hand over fist blocking out time for appointments. I'm also loosing money with my other business to make time for them.

I still ultimately want to honor God in my marriage and life but frankly the big filter is ...I want to do what is best for my son. Yes my wife is a manipulator and yes I'm a marriage martyr. I'm too busy now to change that short term.

Very soon I will be shaken down to basically zero PM holdings. Silver could be non-existent above ground with a chronic industrial silver shortage but the paper price will still fall according to the technical analysis folks and all the paper rigging. Being a holder of physical only I've grown weary of living in the shadows of the paper trades.

I keep hearing "I have the right to be happy" but frankly I just seek contentment.

I really want to respond to Rupricks post that has hit on many reasons why thinking people don't want much to do with faith. I frankly have to agree with it in many respects.

The stigma of questioning the Christian faith, like I have in recent years, is right up there with some kind of blasphemy. It is expected and almost demanded to you must keep it to yourself and be quiet about it so you don't drag others down. I've always been a seeker...that will never change. The church has done a poor job in answering some of the toughest questions on the planet. Some of the apologists have done better and yet another well known apologist that I won't mention has made it worse on Christian radio.

More later....

Re: Filling taxes late....?
 

Form 4868, simple, takes about 5 minutes to do. If you think you will owe taxes include a check in the amount. No penalty aside from interest charges either way.

Re: Wife wants no part in preps no need - sees no point to preparing a homestead for
 

Forget any idea that your wife will ever change, unless she wants to. Jesus did do miracles, but only for those willing. A person has to see that something is wrong with their thinking in order to see the need for them to change.

From what I'm seeing you have written, she doesn't seem to think any of her marriage problems are her fault. Also, if she won't talk to you about Christian values, she is only playing at it. Her god is self, not God. There is a little self in all of us. As in, I keep hearing you say I this and that! Okay, I'm not condemning you, just a reminder.

Change is very hard, I should know after years of counsel for Vietnam related issues. Fortunately for my marriage, my wife was very supportive. 39 years this year we'll be together.

What I keep seeing is, you work 7 - 12s, doesn't give much time out to work on a marriage. My wife was and is rather demanding of my time, more time than I need, but she needs that, so I work on it.

Guess my advise isn't worth much in light of all the experienced folks here, just my 2 cents.

Re: Filling taxes late....?
 

Thanks-- Looking into this now.

I will not owe anything but will yet again roll a credit over to next year.

Frankly does this increase ones chances for an audit?...stepping away from he crowd? I also heard filling early can trigger one as well. This happened to one of my associates a number of years ago. After wasting 40+ hours of his time they found nothing.

Re: Filling taxes late....?
 

the year I was audited it was because I was dumb enough to buy a new car with cash.. I endured the audit from Hell.. We were treated like Drug dealers.. Ditto many hours later the only are they could find was over 10 cents and the Agent obsessed over the dime for 30 minutes..